In Tatters
by Zeil
Summary: Just another little fic about the pay back House gives Chase for his betrayal. Will eventually be slash. First part is done! Songfic slightly...I think...
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: No I still haven't got anything invested in House. Sue if you feel like wasting time.**

**Notes: Just the old idea of House torturing Chase after the Voglar thing. Will eventually be slash.**

**In Tatters**

**Part One **

Prologue

Fractured 

I'm in tatters

Shattered 

Chase pounded down the pavement, the bitumen slick from issuant rain. The dark clouds overhead still threatening to spill evermore. Silence and mist blanketed the air and Chase pushed himself harder, fighting to stay upright while going down a slippery road. His car sat at the bottom of the sharp three-mile incline. Sweat poured and beaded on his body, cooling quickly in the chill, rain splashing up from puddles to soak and freeze his legs.

Shattered 

Chase glanced down at his watch and forced himself forward faster trying to keep his breath perfectly under control. 6.25. Which meant he had just over 30 minutes to get back to his car and to the gym…

Love and hope and sex and dreams 

By 6.55 he was pounding one of the gym's boxing bags… Elbows, shoulders… Chase tried to keep the moves perfect, technique was everything. He should have gloves on he realised… Because he's taped his hands and there's nothing wrong with that from a boxing stand point, but his knuckles will be bruised later… The thought makes him swing hard, the leather of the bag stinging his hands exquisitely… Bruised is good, bruised is something… **Shoulders, elbows, technique, perfect.** His thoughts roll and ramble… His hands ache, his shoulders protest…

Are still surviving on the street 

He's in the showers by 7.35… Let's the water carry off the grime, sweat, pain… Right now its minimal, endorphin's still flooding his system. Chase is a doctor though, knows that by lunch he'll wince when trying to lift his arms above his head, it was good it was something…

_**And look at me,**_

_**I'm in tatters!**_

He's at work by 7.55, dressed impeccably in a suite that seems too tailored, too well fitting. Its smoke black, on cerulean green… Very Italian, a point which the tailor seemed adamant on… To Chase it looks like a suite… Nothing more, nothing less. He can't stop pulling at it, thinking that perhaps it hides less than his sport clothes which cling even before there damp with sweat… he feels naked… All that expensive cloth and stitching and he still feels naked…

_**I'm shattered**_

_**Shattered**_

Chapter One

Well Obviously 

Lisa: Is that dad?

Bart: That or Batman's really let himself slide.

Cameron wasn't surprise when she arrived at 8.15 to Chase sitting finishing off breakfast in the breakroom. Since House had found out it was indeed Chase who had played spy for Vogalar he'd had the intensivous working almost around the clock. Cameron wasn't sure of the exact hours since she hadn't taken to staking the other and Chase simply refused to talk about it. The gossip was though that he hadn't had a day off in almost a month or since House had become certain of the betrayal.

Chase though for the most part seemed to be holding up fine. He was still eating… Actually if anything he was eating more and although he looked worn, he didn't look exhausted. Cameron looked at the almost empty bowl, it looked like fruit and yogurt, muesli too maybe… Cameron rumpled her nose slightly, she'd never been a fan of yogurt. Muesli either for that matter. A massive cup of juice accompanied the meal, Cameron hadn't seen the other with a cup of coffee in over… a month…two?

"How's it going Chase?" She asked carefully.

"I'm fine thanks. Yourself?" It was the kind of polite question, said in the polite tone that you would usually receive from a sales assistant. Allison frowned but let it pass. Foreman barging threw the door a moment later.

"House here yet?" He inquired quickly. She shook her head, chase stayed focused firmly on whatever it was he happened to be reading.

"See there is a god!" Foreman sighed flopping down into one of the chairs.

"Why what's wrong?" Allison asked.

"Nothing I just don't start shift for another 10 minutes… I don't wanna see House any earlier than I have too." Foreman scoffed.

"Well aren't you unlucky then." Chase fought the wince that rose at the voice.

"House when I say things like that you know I mean them in the worse way possible." Foreman smirked, comfortable in the knowledge that there was almost nothing he could do to piss the other off as badly as Chase had and while the other was still there all of House frustration's seemed to be taken out on the blonde.

"Cute!" house snapped, he seemed particularly snippish today, maybe someone had misplaced his Vicodin. Or maybe he was just more like himself then usual.

"Chase, why are you even still here…" House snarled and the blonde rose quickly and darted out of the room.

"What was that about?" foreman asked brazenly.

"Chase has a fun filled day of logging samples, wanna help…" House grumbled shooting Foreman a particularly nasty look. Sample logins was possibly the most boring, mind-numbingly experience ever. So no Foreman didn't have the burning urge to volunteer for it. It was the equivalent of being a medical delivery boy. They logged the patient samples taken by doctors and delivered them to the lab… it was usually a job given to rather untalented College interns. Giving that kind of task to someone like Chase was… Insulting to say the least…

"As for the two of you it's a fun filled day of clinic duty, clinic duty and oh guess what more clinic duty…" House glared flinging folders at them both and stomping off, or as much so as he was capable.

"Does he seem off his med's to you?" Foreman frowned getting up. Cameron sighed and pursed her lips.

Chapter Two

Cruel and Unusual 

Come on you've already broken me, do ya really have to get cruel and unusual.

Vin Diesel, Xander Cage, XXX

Friends are so alarming 

Sample logging, Chase contented himself with the fact that it could have been worse, with House it always could. However by the time 12 o'clock rolled around it became a small consolation. Logging although no effort or talent was required was also as boring as arse.

"So how long do I have you for?" Kelly Petersen questioned looking chase up and down.

"I don't know." Chase admitted, scrawling over the login forms. Kelly looked at him oddly, bitting her bottom lip.

"What?" He asked after a moment, thinking that perhaps he'd forgotten to do something important with the medial job… It wouldn't surprise him.

"Sorry I just don't usually…" She said to blush and chase wasn't getting it. He probably usually would have…

"I was just wondering if maybe you'd like to grab dinner tonight…" She offered uncertainly.

"I would," Chase stumbled, he should have expected it…

"But I'm a little busy right at the moment." Chase said half apologetic.

"Right! House…" She mumbled and turned away.

"What?" Chase stared at her.

"Nothing… its just going around the hospital that House has you working almost 24-7… Because you… Pissed him off."

"Yeah right." Chase said glad that his pager had started to trill.

My lover's is never charming 

Chase had just missed the elevator and instead of waiting for the next, took to jogging up four flights of steps. He was panting by the time he reached House's office, a thin sweat breaking out all across his body.

"What took you so long?" house snapped as he entered the room. Chase glared panting a little. House looked him up and down.

"What have I told you about molesting nurses in closets while your supposed to be working." He drawled in thick layers of sarcasm.

"Did you actually want something?" Chase almost cursed glaring at the older man.

"Did I?" House teased, looking about the room as though the answer could be found on one of the walls.

"You paged me." Chase almost accused having retrieved most of his breath. House pursed his lips for a moment.

"Nope can't think of a thing!" House sighed. Chase glared.

"Shouldn't you be in the clinic." He snapped suddenly. House looked amused to say the least.

"Actually that was what I wanted!" House smirked.

"What?" Chase griped.

"You go do my clinic duty… Cuddy'll never know." House chuckled.

"Just attempt to be competent… You'll do fine." House sniped.

"Great…" Chase grumbled as he headed back for the door, over the last month he'd had more clinic hours then the other two put together, now he was taking House's as well…

Life is just a cocktail party on the street 

"You aren't House!" Milly said tersely, when Chase tried to sign in for his clinic duty.

"Thank god." Chase grumbled, Milly raised an eyebrow in agreement. She was a dark skinned woman in her late forties, with sharp eyes and a big built. From what Chase had gleaned from their brief conversations she was devoiced with two teenaged kids and a fox terrier. He also surmised that she knew more about medicine than most of the doctors there.

"Cuddy though assigned me his hours for today." Chase lied and his stomach squirmed because he was already in enough trouble without adding to it.

The big apple, people dressed in plastic bags 

Milly looked him up and down, holding the patient folders, taping them against the counter.

"That's funny," She breezed and Chase knew he was in trouble.

"'Cos Cuddy just called me to make sure House was in the clinic at some point today for his hours." Milly frowned. Oh, what were the chances. Chase held back a sigh.

"She didn't mention anything about you." The frown deepened.

"Guess she's confused on the day!" Milly breathed handing over the files and fanning her face.

"Thankyou." Chase said putting some real meaning behind it.

Directing traffic 

She shrugged.

Some kind of fashion 

"Just remember who your friends are." She drawled turning away from the counter.

Shattered 

"Okay," Chase said swallowing, biting his lip.

"So what possessed you to get… that pieced?" Chase questioned a little stiffly because it was still far too early to be deal with stuff like this.

"My girlfriend thinks it looks hot." Chase winced and counted his lucky stars that the girlfriend wasn't present.

"Right." Chase frowned.

"Would you like to see it again." He offered and chase felt his stomach give a violent flip.

"No…" He said raising his hands and the guy started to undo his pants once more. Chase started to scribble out a prescription.

"Its just infected, getting that area pieced is always a little dicey." Chase almost choked.

"Rub that into the… area twice a day… It'll clear it up." Chase said giving the guy a wide birth as he got up to leave.

Laughter joy and loneliness 

Chase looked at the nasty looking bite on the girl's shoulder.

"So what is it?" She breathed with apprehension.

"Infected." Chase said stepping way and starting to scribble out a script.

"That's it?" she questioned.

"Yep, some antibiotics and you'll be fine." Chase said.

"Great." The guy supposedly her brother said, as he took the script from Chase. Chase shot him a look.

"Actually I did want to speak to you for just a second…" Chase scowled.

"Go wait outside." He directed, the girl looking somewhat apprehensive.

"So what's the story?" Chase asked after she'd gone.

"Nothing…" The guy said looking puzzled.

"You're not her brother…" Chase pressed, feeling the beginnings of a headache creeping in.

"Your right! I'm just a friend, she just didn't want to go in by herself." He tried to cover.

"She's only fifteen." Chase scowled feeling a bad mood rolling in.

"And I'm just a friend." He snapped back as Chase got up in his face.

"Make sure I don't find out otherwise…" He threatened.

And sex, and sex, and sex, and SEX 

"So what's wrong with my eyes." She asked in a pleading voice. Chase couldn't blame her. Her eyes were swollen to the point where it looked like she'd been crying hysterically for hours.

"Nothing." Chase said firmly.

"Nothing? But look at me." Chase was and he found it very strange, eyes aside. The girl had her face painted white and her eyes lacquered black. Chase didn't get it. He'd never been very fond of make-up even in small amounts.

"Your allergic to the allium that's in your eyeliner." Chase explained, as he finished scribbling out a prescription.

"I'm giving you drops to help clear out your eyes. Other than that stop using the brand and you'll be fine." He added dampening some cotton. She jumped a mile as he went to wipe away the offending colours.

"The sooner it comes off the better." Chase explained, she sat stiffly, but let him remove it, when Chase was done he realised why.

"How did that happen?" He questions, because pretending not to notice would have been worse.

"Car accident when I was ten." She croaked.

"I'm sorry." Chase said sincerely and realised that he had nothing else to offer… He had fixed her eyes, but couldn't even start on the emotion scars she was carrying from having a scratched up face.

And look at me! 

By four o'clock, Chase felt like shit, his knee ached causing him to limp slightly and his head felt about ready to fall off his shoulders. His stomach protested violently at not having been fed yet and his shoulders felt stiff. So far he hadn't had a single break all day. By the looks of how packed the clinic was he wasn't going to get one either.

I'm in tatters 

"Chase what are you doing down here?" Wilson questioned too brightly.

"House's clinic duty." Chase spilled, knowing that Wilson would bite his tongue before spilling it to Cuddy. Chase's stomach rumbled loudly.

"Chase," Wilson frowned.

"Have you had something for dinner yet?" He questioned knowing how House was abusing the little duckling, though puzzled as to why Chase was taking so much of it in stride.

"Dinner…? I haven't even had lunch yet." Chase groaned.

"Go now." Wilson pressed.

"I can't the clinics packed." Chase explained…

"You go and I'll fill in." James offered. Chase stared at him.

"Hey if you can pretend to be House then so can I." He smirked, right then Chase could have kissed him…

I'm shattered Shattered 

Chapter Two

Enough

As my seafaring pappy use to say; 'When you find yourself a good stiff one… Hoist your sails and thank god for the ride…'

"Are you sure you don't need longer?" Wilson questioned as Chase reappeared in record time.

"I'm fine." Chase mumbled, not entirely making eye contact with Wilson, then slumping off to see the next patient. Wilson watched after him with apprehension… The sad tilt of his shoulders and the painful look of his walk. Wilson realised that he had to talk to House, maybe Cuddy too…

All this chitter-chatter, chitter-chatter, chitter-chatter 'bout 

Chase rubbed his eyes and pulled himself together, turning to face a mother and twelve-year-old daughter.

"So what can I do for you?" he questioned gently. Trying to be polite even though he could see the little girl was fevered and swearing.

"It's probably just the flu or something but I thought I'd better bring her in anyway…" She stumbled.

"How long has she had the fever for?" Chase asked, smiling at the redhead as he stuck a thermometer in her ear. She smiled back faintly.

"This morning I think… Maybe late last night…" Her mother supplied.

"Can you open up for me." Chase asked tongue depressor in hand. She dropped open her mouth and stuck out her tongue. The pink muscle squirming slightly when he pressed the stick down onto it. Her throat was red and irritated and… Chase shined a penlight down into the cavern… Small pustules where raised right at the back… Odd…

"Miss Pamella, has your daughter swallowed any chemicals recently… detergents, that kind of thing?" Chase asked in wonder.

"No, why would she?" The brunette asked, looking sharply at him. Chase looked at it again and then removed the stick.

"Miss if you wouldn't mind I would really like to keep your daughter overnight." Chase tried to say flatly, make it seem as unimportant as possible.

"Why?" She acted up anyway.

"Its nothing serious," Chase said and she seemed to settle a little almost immediately.

"Its just she does have a reasonably high temperature and with the humid wether it's easy for children to dehydrate… Almost I would like just to run a few tests on the abrasions at the back of her throat..." Chase explained.

"If you think it'll be better for her." The mother conceded.

"I do. " Chase nodded.

"Who's Jessica Pamella?" House demanded as he barged into the breakroom, throwing a file down onto the table where Chase was currently having dinner and reading.

"A patient." Chase bit back because his headache was lingering and he really was in the mood for House at the moment.

"Yes one that I was suppose to have admitted, so it would be good if I could actually know about it." House smirked glaring at Chase. He sighed tiredly as the hour hand on the clock started to slowly crawl passed the 6.

"I put in a report on your desk." He explained.

Shmatta, shmatta, shmatta -- 

"I don't read reports." House scoffed.

"Then it's not my fault." Chase scoffed back, the other really starting to get under his skin.

"So why did you admit her?" House snapped, deciding the fight, although satisfying would get them no where.

"Just some strange chemical burns on the back palate of her mouth… Nothing really." Chase mumbled.

"Great now I'm gonna look like an idiot in front of Cuddy." House sniped.

"Nothing unusual then." Chase jabbed. House scowled at him and the other realised then that by the way House had walked in, by the way that he was holding himself now… He hadn't had any pills for a while. Great.

I can't give it away on Seventh Avenue 

"Chase go home." House grumbled and chase almost fell off his seat. House was letting him go before nightshift… unlikely. Chase looked at his food, maybe House had poisoned it and didn't'' want him dying in the hospital.

"You're sending me home now?" Chase questioned sceptically.

"Actually I'm sending you home no because I want you back for nightshift." House said blithely. Chase frown, he should have guessed.

"I'll see you back here at eight."

This town is the reason we're in tatters 

House didn't even try to hold back the smirk as Chase sighed quiet audibly and pulled himself up out of the chair. Intent upon being away from the hospital for as long as possible.

Shattered 

Chase headed out into the damning night air, knowing that there was only one thing that could possibly keep him from strangling House…

Shattered 

Chapter Three

Just My Luck 

I'd say that god watches over even his most wayward children… But that might seem a bit disingenuous.

Gabriel, Constantine

Work and work and love and sex 

Chase hit the gym once more, at 6 o'clock it was packed and he once more felt at home in his sweaty unwashed sport clothes… He must have smelt incredibly unappealing, though in the grand scheme of things he didn't suppose it mattered really.

Ain't you hungry for success 

He went back to the boxing bag once more, still loving the feel of the material scraping over abused skin. He was once again going bare knuckled, which was perhaps an even worse idea. His hand were already looking pretty badly bruised… and he still had night shift to get through… Thanks to House. Well thanks to himself really because really he had gone running to Voglar in the first place… He'd dobbed like some five-year-old because he was upset about House leaving them in the dark. Now he was in the dark constantly… Not to mention things had gotten a whole lot colder…

Success, success, success 

He didn't get it? Since when did House even care? Distracted Chase miss-threw a punch and didn't come anywhere close to the bag, he winced slightly as his shoulder protested at being forced to such an odd angle. He bit his lip and didn't even pause. Going back to his controlled swings. Forgetting about everything else, or making a marked effort anyway.

Doesn't matter 

It was in the shower that he first really noticed it… druing stretching he'd passed it off as just the normal ache. But now… Chase pulled on his shoulders, stretching the muscles out. His left was fine, but his right… It panged terribly now that the adrenaline in his system was staring to clear out. Chase gasped as he pushed it halfway above his head and had to let it drop back the pain violent and stinging making his arm go numb.

I'm shattered 

Great! He thought miserably. Shaking his head and twisting the water off. This was the last thing he needed while House was trying to work him into the ground. Par for the course, he supposed. Chase took it in stride and dressed as quickly as possible. Realising that his arm didn't ache as long as he didn't jerk it sharply and didn't become unbearable as long as he didn't try to stretch it above his head.

Doesn't matter 

Okay so he could do this… It was twelve hours… more like ten really without breaks and then he could go home… Twelve hours, that was all and House wasn't even gonna be there…

Shattered Chapter Four Midnight Rush 

It was quiet for most of the night, which Chase supposed he should be thankful for, because he more than anyone knows that things no matter how bad can always be worse. The other doctor doing rounds of the floor with him was Alexander Gillian a tall redhead, who what she lacked in looks she made up for in confidence, character and skill. Chase was about two seconds from preposing when at 1 o'clock she looked at him, frowned and snapped at him to go get some sleep and she'd cover his rounds. Chase crashed in one of the breakrooms, the dark interior the most beautiful thing he'd seen as of late…

"When I told you to go sleep I meant for more than twenty minutes…" Gillian frowned upon Chase's re-arrival. Chase shrugged rubbing the sleep from his eyes. It was one of those cruel twists of fate. He'd been working such long hours lately and had exercised so much today that all the left over chemicals in his system barely above notice usually refused to allow him to sleep more than a few minutes… Chase had tossed and turned after about ten minutes of actual sleep before giving up the ghost and coming back down.

"Life's cruel." He mumbled and looked at the chart Gillian had over her shoulder.

"What's this?" Chase asked.

"10 year old boy admitted just before you went, fever, vomiting, convulsions. He's stable and sedated now. I took blood samples…" She explained.

"Matt's doing the work up now…" She said clicking her tongue.

"Mind if I have a look?" Chase questioned. She shook her head, following him in to list vital stats on his chart.

Chase looked over the small boy… He looked normal enough even if was sweating profusely. Beats of liquid dotting his head. Chase shined a pen light beneath his lids watching the pupils expend and contract normally. His dark skin looked a little ashen and dehydrated though that was to be expected with the vomiting. Beside the IV would take care of it. Chase sniffed audibly.

"What?" Gillian question peering at him. Chase frowned a second, trying to place it…It was sickly, kind of copperish but completely unlike blood… it was strange and yet Chase thought it was familiar…Some occurred to him out of the blue. He opened the boy slack mouth and shined in the light, small pustules decorated the back of his throat.

"Take a look at that…" Chase, said as Gillian came around the bed, she took the light and peered in.

"So?" She queried.

"Its chemical burn Chase… You can get it anywhere, eating too much sherbet… for instance…" She frowned peering in once more.

"Though his looks pretty bad… maybe he swallow some pool water…" She offered.

"Yeah, maybe." Chase conceded.

"But I admitted a girl just a few hours ago with the some sort of burns, a fever and that same smell…"

Chase rubbed the back of his neck, kneading the knotted muscles…

"So how many is that now…?" Chase frowned.

"Eight including your girl who is the only one who hasn't spilled her guts or fallen into a coma yet." Gillian informed rubbing her eyes.

"God these night shifts are killing me." She commented.

"Look who I'm talking to though." She grumbled.

"What's that mean?" Chase mumbled.

"Nothing. Just everyone's talking about how House has got you working almost 24-7." She shrugged sheepishly.

"Fabulous." Chase sighed and made the mistake of bringing his right hand up to rub his eyes. He sucked in a breath violently.

"What's wrong?" She questioned.

"My arms killing me." Chase frowned rubbing it gingerly.

"What happened?" Gillian asked moving behind him, to worry at his back. Chase stiffened slightly when her hands were first placed on aching flesh.

"Pulled it boxing." Chase mumbled flinching as she felt along hi shoulder blade.

"Chase this feels pretty bad." She frowned letting go of him.

"How bad?"

"Well your not going to keel over or anything, but you probably shouldn't be working like this." She offered.

"Tell that to House." Chase mumbled, meaning it as a throwaway comment, Gillian took it to heart.

"I could if that would help…"

"That's just what I need, for House to think I've been whining to everyone." Chase winced stretching out his arm slowly and slightly.

"Not like that." Gillian said.

"I could just say that I worked with you and am worried… It's not like its not the truth."

"Thanks, but no." She moved her nose twitchingly as though she wanted to continue grilling him about it.

"So how's Matt coming with the chemical work ups?" Chase questioned.

"Still looking." She mumbled.

"Do want the last family or have I got it?" Chase asked as the clock ticked away the last minutes till 5. Gillian bit her lip.

"I've got it." Chase said.

"Thanks." Gillian said, not wanting to give Chase anymore work than he already had but she hated dealing with families and she'd already done three of the five.

"Go sleep." Gillian ordered as they all leaned around the table in the lab.

"No I'm fine." Chase said rubbing eyes that felt like sandpaper.

"You look awful." Matt said, standing close to Gillian, though it was no secret that the two were in quite a serious relationship.

"I've gotta do rounds." Chase mumbled trying to pull himself together around the aching in his arm.

"Besides I'm off in about… half an hour." Chase said looking at the 7.20 shown on his watch.

"I'll do your rounds go get some sleep." Gillian ordered pointing to the door. Chase sighed too tired to argue and slumped off upstairs.

"He looks rotten." Matt commented.

"You're telling me." Gillian said grabbing a quick kiss and heading off after Chase.

Chase leaned heavily on the elevator wall after the doors had closed, hoping that each time he closed his eyes he'd open them and feel better… Not, likely.

He ambled to the breakroom, found it full of people getting ready for morning shift and decided to go elsewhere. Somehow Wilson's office was where he wound up, the inside warm and inviting, the overstuffed couch was something he'd have to kiss the other for having later. He flopped down almost completely missing the ache that flared worse in his shoulder when he did and turned off like a light…

Chapter Five

Don't Do This! 

It was 8.05 when Wilson arrived startled by the collapsed chase in his office. He looked quite peaceful laying half off of the couch, a thin string of drool damping the corner of his mouth. Wilson had no clue as to how long the boy had been there, but resolve to let him sleep a little longer… That was, until House turned up, it was rare to find the other in before at least 9, however fate really did just seem to be out to torture the littlest duckling.

"Oh, isn't that sweet." House mock simpered as he ambled into Wilson's office.

"House…" Wilson started to threaten as the other picked up the tome they called a medical journal and slammed it down on the table.

Chase toppled off the chair with start and a small little cry, landing heavily on his right side.

"That's what you get for sleeping on the job, twit. Now get moving…" House snapped. It seemed to take an extremely long time for Chase to pick himself up off the floor and Wilson almost flinched at the pained look on the boy's face, his arm held stiffly at his side. He shot House a look and disappeared outside.

"Greg you're going straight to hell." Wilson threatened, shocked by how deep the other sadistic streak seemed to be running lately. House smirk didn't falter.

"Please I'm going to hell for a lot worse things." He lathered and Wilson shook his head. He followed House to the breakroom where the ducklings were assembled. Cameron and Foreman looking fresh and crisp as always… Chase though looked tire and worn and rumpled. He was slumped against the table, purposely keeping weight off of his right arm. Wilson wondered how he'd managed to hurt it so badly in that slight fall.

"House is this really so important. Wilson nagged.

"Absolutely." House smirked and pushed open the door and their conversation got put on hold.

"Bright good morning." House smothered and Wilson rolled his eyes, knowing that the other would draw this out as long as possible before he sent Chase home. He was still shock though when House made the boy explain in detail the chemical burn cases that had come in last night.

Chase for the most part managed to keep it together, hiding the hurt limb rather well. Wilson saw he'd punch the other when House made Chase list every test they'd preformed on the patients so far. All of this could easily be found in the charts…

"Okay…" House said finally…

"Foreman go down to the lab check in with Matt, see if our illustrious Mr. Chase here has forgotten anything." House jabbed and Wilson rolled his eyes. Chase for the most part though didn't seem in on the conversation, he attention was subtly focused on his now throbbing arm.

"Cameron, go do stats on the patients… Chase go home." House mumbled. Thank god. Chase barely kept in and headed promptly for the door before anyone else had even gotten up.

"I want you back at 9.30." Chase froze along with everyone else.

"Why?" He choked.

"Because I said so…" House scowled and Chase looked about ready to drop there, he sighed, nodded and disappeared out the door.

Cameron looked like she desperately wanted to say something… But she swallowed whatever it was and left too. Foreman though looked outraged and he wasn't swallowing anything.

"House what are you doing?" He snapped. He wasn't a fan of Chase, he sure as hell wasn't anything close to a friend and he really didn't agree with what Chase had done but…

"This is ridiculous…" He spat.

"What I find is ridiculous is you fighting with your boss." House scowled.

"So what your just gonna push until… he slips up and loses his licence…" Foreman demanded.

"Well that's an idea yes." House smirked. Foreman's mouth dropped open as though he wanted to say to much at once to know actually what to start with.

"You're being an arse House." Foreman accused.

"I usually am." He agreed.

"Look just fire the guy already…"

"I gave you a job now do it!" House ordered. Foreman's voice dropped out and like Cameron he swallowed whatever else he had to say and slammed out of the room. The door banging shut behind him.

"Don't!" House snapped as Wilson rose. He scowled at the other doctor as his pager went off placing another hold on their conversation.

Chapter Six

Coming Undone 

Religion I feel is a farce, they tell you suicide is a sin, that god would never give anyone a trial they could not bare upon their shoulders… I refuse to believe that a single entity, no matter how grand could trivialise millions of peoples suffering, while still remaining wholly justice and fair…

Evan Petersen

Look at me 

Chase very seriously doubted the sleep he could get in an hour… so he ran instead… he changed into his gym clothes which really were becoming disgusting and jogged from the hospital across town, winding up in a park about three blocks away.

I'm shattered 

It probably wasn't something he should be doing… He probably shouldn't be exercising at all. Boxing was definitely out for a while with his arm, even now the jolt of running was making it numb and tingle.

I'm shattered 

But he had to do something… If he hung around the hospital he was liable to strangle House and there was no way he was driving home simply to come straight back to work.

Look at me 

Besides the cool sir was helping clear his had the endorphin's from running were helping to cover the pain in his arm, the ache that was steadily building in his legs as well… He pushed it away. He wouldn't be in pain if he hadn't been so stupid in the first place.

I'm shattered 

If he hadn't pissed off House he wouldn't be working such long hours and if he hadn't missed that ridiculous boxing bag his arm wouldn't be giving him so much trouble. Stupid, stupid, stupid… This was his fault at east he could take it like a man.

Shattered 

Chase pushed himself harder as he turned around and headed back to the hospital, sweat dampening already dirty clothes.

Shattered 

Chapter Seven

Everything And More 

All she wants is everything and more…

Pride and joy and greed and sex 

It was only nine! That was what Chase couldn't get over. He was on break and House still couldn't leave him alone. This fact was punctuated when house brought a bunch of trainee interns into stare at him while he showered.

"House!" Chase shouted eyeing the man.

"What?" House questioned casually, smirking to show he knew exactly what he was doing.

"Cuddy's forcing me to show the interns about." Chase hazarded a glance at the girls and indeed they didn't look old enough to sign a contract let-alone practise medicine. They were all giggling and blushing and chatting amongst themselves and god only knew what house had told them about him.

That's what makes our town the best 

Chase fought the urge to sigh further behind the wall. They couldn't see anything from where they were standing and Chase wouldn't give House the satisfaction.

"As you all can see this is the male shower's." House explained and Chase tensed as he stepped up to the gap in the shower wall. He looked Chase over coolly, in the way he would have if the other were clothed.

Pride and joy and dirty dreams are still surviving on the street 

"Ha, Foreman owes me money. Though I was starting to doubts, he though you were definitely bleach blonde. Are you?" House smirked cruelly. The gaggled broke out into hysterical giggles and were blushing deeper than Chase. It was accompanied by another slow look. Chase felt like he could die. How could House do this to him. It front of all tease people he could have to supervise later… He wouldn't bully Cameron or Foreman this way… he'd be fired for doing to Cameron… But Chase was just this sad in-between that no one cared about.

"House!" Chase cried and the smirk he constantly wore widened.

I've been battered, 

"Alright girls push off to the lab." House said casually and Chase wondered if it were possible for him to drown the older man in the shower. He turned the water off to remove temptation.

"I want you in the clinic first up and on call for the chemical burn patients." House breezed coolly.

"Why am I even still here?" Chase groaned in frustration. Made the mistake of groaning.

"I want you as the primary doctor on this case." House explained coolly.

"Cameron or Foreman are…"

"You admitted the first patient-s, you took the first test samples…" House with a certain finally, which Chase was pretty sure meant Hudini couldn't wriggle out of this.

"Which means…" House prompted.

"I work full days, no rostered days off." Chase mumbled.

"No actually it means you don't go home all until you find out how to treat them…" House ordered.

What does it matter 

"What?" Chase choked.

"House I've worked almost 30 straight hours already and I…" Chase whined thinking of all the other days off he hadn't had, all the clinic duty he'd gotten stuck with.

"Explain the part where that's my problem." House cut. Chase's mouth fell open… He went to push past the other, forgetting in his anger that he was completely stark. A fact that represented itself in a violent flare of blushing when House grabbed his bare shoulder.

Does it matter, uh-huh 

"I don't want Cameron or Foreman giving the patients so much as a tissue without your knowledge and say so." House informed. Hand still on Chase's bared flesh.

"House?" Chase whimpered. He rubbed his head against House's shoulder wetting the cool fabric.

"I can't do this." He whimpered. He was tired and sore and mostly he wanted to be anywhere that wasn't here. It was fatigue Chase had already established, soon he'd be fighting not to laugh hysterically. Right now though he was choking on tears, trying not bawl like a baby.

"Hey," House said tilting up Chase's chin with his thumb. He studied the boy's face for a moment.

Does it matter, uh-huh, 

"Just remember…" He paused a moment thinking that perhaps he was being too hard on the boy.

"The first rule of leadership is; everything is your fault." Probably not… Chase's eyes were sad and pleading for a second then with ridged shoulders he pushed past House and disappeared into the maze of lockers. House stood a moment in thought, then popped two Vicodin and went back to his previous wonderings.

I'm a shattered 

Chapter Eight

Not Very Popular

Chase felt like snapping at Cameron as lunchtime rolled around and she asked the ever-insipid question.

"Are you all right?" He'd mumbled a yes and went back to largely ignoring her. The test result infront of him, were blurring slightly and Chase had to force himself to focus. It was indeed so much more pleasant to just let the dark scrawl floats infront of his eyes. Let them bob up and down like the waves over the Great Barrier Reef. Bright yellow sand, clear sky, big cold drinks that…

"Chase how are the tox screens?" Foreman asked and Chase jolted back to the world. He looked over them quickly.

"Clean like the last lot." He muttered, trying to hide that he was brushing sleep from his eyes as he tried to figure out how much of the conversation he'd tuned out on.

"Chase go home!" Foreman grumbled huffily.

"I can't." Chase mumbled, picking himself up to go start checking patients vitals.

"Just go… hand House your resignation." Foreman almost ordered. Chase usually only hated his pushiness… now it was really becoming a drag.

"I tried…" Chase breathed.

"Almost a week ago… he laughed and threw it in my face… Quite literally he tore it up and tossed the pieces at me." Chase sighed remembering the fluttering bits of paper. Stumbling out of the lab. He pushed in the hall outside, pressing his head against the wall. **Get it together.** He gritted. Breathing in deeply and straightening himself.

"You are not helping." Cameron snapped after Chase had made his less than graceful exit.

"Chase can't stay…" Foreman sneered.

"He can barely stand." Foreman observed.

"You know what House is doing to him." She shot back.

"Look I feel for the guy… But its not like I sent him running to Voglar." Foreman sighed, filing through reports.

"Your unbelievable." Cameron glared.

"He is going to hurt someone." Foreman scowled.

"Like you care!" Cameron shouted.

"You're just pissed because Chase is in charge of this case." Cameron accused.

"Chase is in charge because he's in the dog house." Foreman shouted back.

"Are your still jealous!"

"House I think you need to start considering the consequences of your actions." Wilson frowned as they moved steadily down the lunch line.

"I do." House defended.

"I consider them all the time. I considered them just this morning." House teased and Wilson frowned deeper.

"House!" Wilson scowled.

"Oh, what has your panties in a bunch now." House said looking carefully over the rolls, sandwiches and burgers that were on display.

"You." James snipped as house finally made up his mind and stuck James with the bill once more. He followed the other outside and sat down across the table from him.

"If this is about the left side of the bed… really you can have it, if it upsets you that much." House offered, grinning sarcastically. It was a little known fact, that himself and House had a somewhat relationship. Somewhat in the compacity that no one could really have a relationship with Gregory House and Wilson should know he'd given it a few honest tries. Had heard upon the grapevine that Cameron had given getting him into a relationship a few honest tries. Wilson didn't like her chances, dating House, hell even just having a friendship with occasional sex required a grain of assault that Wilson didn't think the woman had. Even Cuddy hadn't been able to stand it for long and she had patients the size of the French canal.

"You and Chase…" Wilson clarified or tried to because House was still dodging.

"Oh, come one that's low… I wouldn't accuse you of sleeping with Foreman…" House smirked.

"And you shouting at me…" James ploughed on.

"Greg you can't work people like this…" He continued.

"That left side of the bed thing though that doesn't bother you right." House lulled. James rolled his eyes and snatched up his lunch.

"Your impossible House." He breathed, standing to move back inside.

"Where are you going?" House asked.

"Away from you." He snapped slightly.

"And you say I'm the reason we don't spend enough time together…" House snorted still joking and that got up Wilson's nose a little. Because as far as House was concerned the world began, ended and revolved around just him… Or at least so it seemed.

"You are…" He snapped quietly.

"Oh," House mock simpered and James flinch because House didn't usually do that, not to him.

"Two things house." James snarled.

"When something goes wrong, and it will. Expect an I told you so from me and two you should know that every nurse in the hospital is starting to hate your guts for what your doing to Chase… There already was an I hate Gergory House fan club, now its just got more members." James snipped and then turned on his heal and walked away. House watching after him and catching a good look at almost every nurse in the lunch room shooting him glares and whispering to the one next to them. House couldn't help but shift slightly in his chair…

Chapter Nine

Clueless 

I like totally paused…

Alicia Silverstone, Clueless

Don't you know the crime rate is going up, up, up, up, up 

"Do you even know what you're talking about!" Nina Pamella screeched as Chase focused on taking yet another blood sample from Jessica. No, he thought ruefully. He couldn't even remember what he'd just said let-alone what it meant. Luckily Gillian was there in a pinch.

"Miss Pamella I know it looks like we're doing nothing but…"

"You've stuck my daughter with every needle imaginable… and you still can't even tell me what's wrong with her." She snapped and Gillian looked about ready to snap herself.

"I know it seem extraneous." She tried.

"But we're doing everything we can." She offered.

"Which isn't very much." She snapped, looking decidedly at Chase., as though he'd made her daughter sick by admitting her.

To live in this town you must be tough, tough, tough, tough, tough! 

"Nina your tired, you haven't slept in almost two days…" Gillian offered.

"I'm not leaving my daughter…" She said flinging up painted hands.

"No, no of course not. But there's a lounge upstairs, you could grab a quick nap up there now." Gillian offered and the mother grudgingly excepted.

You got rats on the West Side Bed bugs uptown 

"She's pretty great your mum." Chase clicked his tongue between his teeth.

"Yeah." Jessica sighed, her voice tear tinted from the needle.

"Sorry, nurses are usually better at this." Chase conceded, pulling out the needle and placing gauze over, Jessica bending her arm without being asked.

"Your pretty good." She licked dry lips.

"Had a lot of blood tests?" He asked.

"Only since I got here."

"I'm sorry about that. Its just easier for us find out…"

"Its okay Chase I get it." She smiled and chase was reminded of his mouth… before his father left, before the drinking, when she was happy. It's the eyes maybe, that kind of quiet grace, which he had never had.

"So what about your father?" Chase asked trying to change the subject as he checked her breathing.

"He use to be in the army… He died over in Iraq last year." Chase winced at the silent defeat in her voice, he really sucked at this…

"Sorry." He said again, knowing that it didn't even begin to make it better.

"That's what everyone says…" She frowned.

"People who didn't even know him…" She murmured in confusion… Chase's beeper began to trill, he glance down at it and his heart kicked up a notch as he realised someone was coding three rooms down.

What a mess this town's in tatters I've been shattered 

"What's happening?" Chase asked as he burst in the door, Nina Pamella standing outside.

"I was going past when his mother grabbed me…" Gillian spluttered, as Jason Priar, a seven-year-old African-American kid convulsed on the bed. He was choking and coughing, bringing up bile and disgusting stringy mucus that Chase hadn't seen before.

My brain's been battered, 

"Gonna have to intravent…" Chase said hopping into action. He grabbed for the tubing as Gillian tried to restrain the writhing mass and open his mouth. Chase pressed the tube down into his throat, trying to still the frantic beating of his heart. Jason shuddered and reached, blood bubbling and spewing from his mouth, it splattered across Gillian's clothes and Chase's face…

Splattered all over Manhattan 

Silence was thick in the breakroom, Chase sat staring at House's blank diagnostic broad, usually by this point it would be covered in the other's untidy scrawl. But this wasn't House's case… It was his… and he'd just held a seven-year-old while he coughed up his last breaths.

Uh-huh, this town's full of money grabbers 

The boy's blood was still on his shirt… was dried on his face and Chase realised that he should wash it off… Just couldn't get around to doing it. He licked his lips and pulled himself up, his hands were shaking… he picked up the whiteboard marker and started to write.

He scrawled up everything, anything he could think of… Nothing… Because none of it mattered. None of the tests showed anything. He couldn't work it out… House probably could have, Cameron, Foreman, but he wasn't smart enough… he couldn't do it by himself…

Chapter Ten

What the hell Is This? 

Sorry I had a lot of sugar today.

Ryan Reynolds, Hannibal King, Blade Trinity

"The kids organ's were almost liquid…" Chase said with almost a detached kind of happy note, striding into the lab hours later. Gillian's eyes were red and puffy, his brain noted sluggishly and Matt's shirt looked wet… He could understand that… But he didn't get the luxury of crying…

"What?" She sniffled.

"Autopsy." Chase said brandishing a file.

"Nothing much to suggest a cause, but the kids organ's were almost liquid. Liver, heart, lungs, kidney's." Chase was talking louder than he usually would have and Gillian wasn't sure that it was a good sign.

"Speaking of odd things…" Matt interrupted, forgetting in Gillian's pain until now.

"I looked at a sample of blood under the microscope and found something really bazaar." Matt frowned.

"I don't know how the tests missed it… or me for that matter." He huffed and gesture from Chase to have a look. Chase rubbed tired eyes and then looked down through the scope. Plasma with red blood cells bobbing appeared before his eyes… Everything looked normal to him. He went to pull back.

"Keep watching…" Matt ordered and that was when Chase caught it, a tiny spec of white attached to one side of the red platelet. He checked over all of them for sever long minutes, only counting two out of the millions of cells.

"What is that?" He asked as he stepped aside for Gillian.

"I don't know." Matt offered quite freely, whereas most doctors would rather swallow their own tongue.

"I've never seen anything like it and it doesn't scan up on any of the machines." Matt licked his lips.

"Right now I'm trying to separate it from the blood, so I can test a pure sample…"

"Good." Chase said, breathing deeply, considering.

"I'm gonna go do the rounds…" he said turning on his heel.

"Ooh, he starting to slip." Matt said, after Chase was gone.

"Where are you going…?" He called as Gillian followed.

"To speak to the coroner." She called back.

"Wasn't me." Annely Katlin pouted as Gillian asked her about the specifics of the autopsy.

"What'd you mean it wasn't you? What the body autopsied itself?" Gillian snapped.

"No I mean I'm back logged and Chase wanted the autopsy done ASAP, so I told him want it done right…" She was a short greying women, who always rubbed Gillian the wrong way.

"He did it himself?" Gillian spluttered.

"One of my guys assisted." She croaked chewing a piece of gum noisily. That was Gillian's biggest problem with the woman, she had no respect for the dead. Eating her lunch and such while cataloguing bodies… That couldn't be sanitary.

"Thanks?" She snapped and left at high speed.

"Chase what the hell are you doing?" Gillian snapped as Chase placed his hand on Jessica's door.

"Rounds." Chase said thickly.

"You autopsied Jason Priar…" Gillian managed to screech while keeping her voice low.

"Its okay I had an assistant, its fine." Chase explained thinking of hospital protocol.

"No it's not!" Gillian growled thinking of Chase.

"Chase you were there when that boy died, you shouldn't be doing his autopsy…" Gillian gasped.

"And we shouldn't be having this conversation right now." Chase offered. Gillian opened her mouth as Alex Parsons came bursting out of his son's room…

"Hey Chase…" Jessica yawned as the doctor finally came in to finish the rounds. His face spoke doom and gloom, even to her.

"Sorry, did I wake you." He nodded slowly, thinking that his neck had never felt so knotted.

"No, I can't sleep properly when I'm not in my bed…" She mumbled sitting up after Chase had finished checking her IV. It would have to be changed soon, but not yet and he certainly was jumping for the job… Chase noted it on her chart. She let go of a string of coughs and Chase frowned noticing that her temperature had risen two degrees… Everyone's had… though Jessica seemed to be best off.

"Would you like a drink…" He offered.

"Actually I would like my milk." She said.

"Excuse me." Chase asked thinking he must have misheard somehow.

"It's in my school bag." She pointed at the piece of black in the corner. Chase picked it up slowly and ruffled around inside from a moment before finding a carton of milk. It was cool, not cold though and Chase was suspicious.

"I don't think its still good, Jessica, its not eve cold… How long has it been in your bag for."

"A few days." Chase frowned.

"Its okay though its one of those foil packets though… That's why the school uses them…" Chase looked over the carton claiming all natural ingredients. Unlikely, but he couldn't see anything wrong with it… Beside f it was the milk more people would be sick… and she looked so hopeful…

"All right." He sighed and she snatched it happily. The clock ticked over to 7.15.

Chapter Eleven A…B…C…D… 

My girl when Rameses destroyed Seiren… That was an accident… You are a catastrophe…

The Mummy

Foreman's missing… Chase noted through tired eyes. It was himself, house and Cameron in the breakroom.

"So what have we learnt so far?" House questioned.

"Nothing." Chase admitted, too tired to play smart.

"Eight patients originally, three were comatose when omitted, almost twenty-four hours later they convulsed and died, their organs almost slush." Chase drowned and Cameron winced at the quiet bitterness there.

"Well doctor Chase don't make any attempt to help save them." House dug and Allison noted that his shoulders slumped a little lower, one held at an odd angle. She realised right in that moment that she really didn't like House anymore…

"Two more fell into coma's this morning at 7.30 and 7.55… Two more are definitely heading that way and Jessica looks to be slowly sliding there too." Chase stared blankly at the desk.

"Actually Jessica's there." Foreman informed as he came through the door.

"Where the hell were you?" House snapped.

"Helping to sedate Jessica Pamella." Foreman glared at him.

"What?" Chase asked and it was the first time this morning that he'd actually looked alive.

"That's not right her temperature and breathing…"

"Now match the comatose ones." Foreman informed.

"That's not…" Chase looked like a lost puppy, he sighed and put his head in his hands.

"Chase work with it…" House ordered, sticking the straw into a popper and sucking loudly.

"What does this tell us…" house asked finally, because it looked like the littlest duckling was about to breakdown.

"Nothing." Chase shouted.

"Nothing tells us anything… Nothing makes sense… the only thing that could have caused this is the fact that they share the same school and Foreman checked that out yesterday." Chase's voice quieted as the sentence wore on. He looked at the whiteboard through half closed lids.

"And the alphabet." He mumbled barely realising it.

"What?" Allison asked.

"Their last names are alphabetical." Chase mumble as he rose and left the room tired of listening to House's slurps.

House re-arranged the names that Chase had scrawled out on the board.

Justin Paeltrick- Dead

Jessica Pamella- Coma

Nicolas Parsons- Dead

Ryan Peters-Crit

Susan Poultry-Coma

Liva Pouvlem-Coma

Jason Priar- Dead

Michelle Pwiar-Crit

It did look a little odd.

"Is Chase going home?" Allison asked, even though she already knew the answer.

"No." House said heading for the door, a little curious of the patients.

"House if want my opinion." Allison stared.

"Not really." House said pausing half out the door. She ploughed on anyway.

"There are other ways to discipline Chase… Or just except his resignation so he can…"

"Doctor Cameron!" House demanded.

"When I want anything other than a medical opinion I'll… Well I'm never gonna want your opinion." House snarked as he headed out the door.

Cameron sighed, actually stomped her foot and then fished a packet of chips out of one of the cupboard's and began feeding her face.

"Nervous eater?" Foreman questioned stiffly, because neither was entirely over their fight from yesterday.

"No, House is just an arse." She said between chips… Foreman found himself liking her more now that she had started liking House less.

"The way he's treating pour Chase…" She frowned.

"I know you don't like him and yes Chase is a big boy, but…"

"Its excessive." Foreman agreed.

"This is what I don't get though," Foreman offered.

"When I wanted to quite House couldn't agree fast enough… and I'd be offended but consider the source… Then you threatened to go and he didn't even bat an eyelid… But Chase… I mean you saw him flip and yesterday with me…" Foreman breathed.

"I mean what's the attachment?" He scoffed.

"Simple." Allison sucked chips out of her teeth.

"He wants to torture him." She finished, Foreman looked less than convinced.

"You think its something else?" She asked.

"I don't pretend… Scratch that. I wouldn't want to pretend to know how House thinks." He sniffed and Allison bit back a smile.

Chase was back out on the pavement, pushing himself as fast as he could… Sweat was pouring off of him in rivulets and he was pretty sure it was because he hadn't had enough water lately, all the poison's building up in his body. He pushed harder, navigating the crumbling walk with a certain stiff weariness.

How the hell had Jessica fallen sick so quickly, what the hell had he done wrong… Chase shook his head, trying to clear it of House wet slurping which for some reason seemed to play and replay… God, he slurped just like a… the though poured in from the back of his brain and Chase couldn't believe he'd been so stupid…

"House sucks just like a ten year old girl!" Chase spouted as he burst in on Foreman.

"Shit!" He cried as it dawned on him that Foreman was in the middle of clinic duty and therefore with a patient.

Foreman stood dumbstruck as Chase limped out of the room. Foreman blinked… collected himself and then excused himself, closing the door behind him. Chase was pacing in the hall outside.

"It's the milk…" Chase was pacing frantically, rather funny considering he was walking like House.

"Chase what happened?" Foreman questioned as he took in Chase's sweaty, grotty appearance. His flushed face and jumpy, tired eyes. Chase looked down at himself like he didn't get the question.

"Oh, I tripped into a fence after my big epiphany." Chase muttered.

"Right…" Foreman trilled, worried about the other man for the first time ever.

"But that's not important, it's the milk… These kids all went to the same school… Their all in this milk thin that the school does, I called the school and everyone admitted to here falls in one nice little group on the list of kids names that are in the, the… thing…" Chase snapped losing patients with himself. Why couldn't he think of the word. Its like his brain had trickled out of his ears and he was having trouble focusing on the world… He had already gone back to wearing his glasses, having contacts in for three days straight making his eyes red and puffy.

"Chase I don't get…" Foreman started and Chase grabbed his lapels.

"We have to go talk to the company!" Chase shouted and pulled away from the other, foreman to shocked to do anything.

"Chase…" Foreman watched the other crumble before his eyes.

"Don't you get it…" Chase cried…

"I gave her the milk… That's why she got so sick all of a sudden… I gave it to her, it was House's damn sucking on that popper that reminded me." Chase sobbed.

"All right Chase, all right… I'll go talk to the company… you stay here and get cleaned up…" The other looked at Foreman with haunted eyes and nodded turning away as barely held back tears fell.

I'm a shattered Chapter Twelve Never Charmed 

Leo: You all lead charmed lives…

Prue: Hardly…

Go ahead, 

Once the tears started Chase couldn't stop them, they toppled down his face as he retreated once more to the showers. He sat on the tile with the shower pouring over his curled up legs and sobbed dryly. The salty drops fell like bead of shower water, cascading over pale legs and thighs. Over bruised arms and an aching back. Chase's injured leg stung at the angle it was forced to and his shoulder felt like it was on fire.

Bite the Big Apple, 

Eventually though even the tears stopped coming and Chase was left with what he'd always been most afraid of… Nothing. His best wasn't good enough. His incompetence was unbelievable.

His father was right, as a doctor he was woefully inadequate.

Don't mind the maggots, huh I'm a shattered Shattered! I cannot take this anymore 

The arms around his waist were a shock, Chase trying to blink the fuzz from his eyes after leaving the shower dressed once more.

"Miss Pamella." Chase hazarded from behind his glasses.

"Doctor Chase I'm so sorry about what I said to you, I can't…" Her eyes were worse than his and tears were still collecting even now.

"I lost her father over in Iraq and my parent's died in a car crash when she was 7… Jessica is the only family I have left and I just can't…" Sobs spilled fourth and Chase patted her back softly. Feeling something starting a hole in his stomach.

I'm saying everything I've said before 

"I can't loose my baby…" She wailed and Chase swallowed the sobs that were collecting at the back of his throat. He wanted to let them fall out into the air, to fall down onto his knees and apologise for what he'd done to Jessica because his time its wasn't some common medical slip up that had occurred but just plain stupidity.

All these words they make no sense 

But he couldn't, he couldn't do anything because to say that would may the hospital liable. Chase felt trapped beneath plastic, the world was tilting in and out in front of his face and he couldn't breath at all.

I find bliss in ignorance 

"I'm sorry for our lack of progress Miss Pamela, but myself and everyone else is doing all they came." Chase offered… and that was all he had to offer, some stupid useless insincerity. He wanted to scream. She nodded slowly and stumbled down the hall, realising that he had nothing else to give…

Less I hear the less you'll say But you'll find that out anyway Just like before… 

Chase practically collapsed in the lab when he reached it.

"You look like hell." Matt said looking over-worked himself.

"I feel worse." Chase breathed.

"Well I've something that may make you happy." Matt offered.

"The white substance insecticide… Foreman gave me a call, the company as it turned out tried out a new insecticide for the grass pens which the cows feed on. Worked perfectly, grass was nice and healthy, cows were fabulous, producing lots of milk… Unfortunately the stuff was lethal for humans." Matt puffed.

"A case accidentally got shipped out." Matt scowled.

"What!" Chase frowned.

"Yeah I know." Matt offered.

"Anyway Foreman beat the info out of one of the excuse… Go figure…" Chase was speechless for a second because suddenly it was over, they knew what it was… It was fixable now.

"So what? So how do we fix it?" Chase questioned.

"We can't." Matt puffed out.

"I mean we can stop it from killing them, from doing more damage, I've had all of their fluid intakes tripled… But like you said the organs are liquid, all we can do is flush out the toxins and take a toll of the damage… Replace kidney's and lungs were we can…" Matt sighed deadly…

"Damn!" House grumped as he knocked over a stack of dominoes that he been working on at Chase's knock and ingress.

"This had better be you telling me Cuddy's let me off of clinic duty." House threatened. Chase was too tired to care.

**Everything you say to me**

"Actually the case I was heading, turned out to be insecticide poisoning… Patient are having it flushed out of there systems now. It's designer so that's why it didn't show up on any of the tox tests. Any that survive will probably need new organ of some variety…" Chase droned tossing files down onto House's desk. He rubbed an eye behind wire-framed glasses that House had never seen before.

"Also I feel I should inform you that the reason for Jessica's sudden deterioration was because she hadn't had the same does of chemical as the other patients… I accidentally gave it to her…" Chase's voice was cold and flat.

"Cameron is currently reporting the company and Foreman's informing the parents." Chase turned to go.

"Wait." House said, holding up a hand, flicking over the files briefly. Chase leaned in the doorway.

"Let me get this straight doctor Chase you gave a patient some questionable drink from outside the hospital, with no way of knowing the inner contents." House frowned.

"Yes." Chase's shoulders were slumped.

"This will be brought before the disciplinary broad." House poked wondering over the reaction. Chase simply nodded and House pushed harder, closing the file.

"Well maybe you didn't."

"What?"

"Well you were supervising Foreman and Cameron. Matt and Gillian… maybe one of them…" House smirked.

**Takes me one step closer to the edge**

"House I just told you that…"

"Well you're a selfish guy Chase…" House teased.

"What…" Chase didn't know wether it was the sleep depravation getting to him or if House just wasn't making any sense

"Though not very smart… Buy a clue Robert… Pick one of them and save yourself…"

**And I'm about to break**

Chapter thirteen Noble…? No Not really… 

You see things; and you say 'Why?' But I dream things that never were; and I say 'Why not?'

George Bernard Shaw, Back To Methuselah, 1912

"Doctor Chase is there anything you would like to add to this report…" Cuddy asked. Chase drifted somewhere between sleep and wake… his eyes were open, but he wasn't really there…

I need a little room to breathe 

"No," Chase said shaking his head. It wasn't really that bad anyway. The review broad members, twenty in all were largely silent. He'd been ambling through clinic duty all morning. Going numbly and unthinkingly from on because to the next. Unable to remember one patient after he'd handed back their file…

It wasn't so bad… Cuddy and Wilson he knew, the other's he didn't… Not really. But no on was screaming at him and no one was expecting…

'Cause I'm one step closer to the edge 

"Well, doctor Chase you… acted negligibly, went against hospital procedure. Allowed a patient in your care to consume something from outside the hospital. You had no way of knowing the contents… It could have been smack for Christ sake… But since you probably have already gone through his yourself…" Cuddy ended the tirade, biting her lip.

"You can go Chase… I'll deliver the board decision by the end of the day." Cuddy pursed. Chase rose only really hearing the part where he could leave.

And I'm about to break 

"So House what do you have to say about this?" Cuddy snapped at the sidelined doctor.

"Chase is an idiot." House shrugged.

"I've tried beating it out of him but damn never can manage it." House smirked.

"Cute." Cuddy snapped.

"But do you think he should be fired!" She bit, feeling spread too thin these days.

"If I thought that I would have done it on the spot…" House frowned.

"Duly noted." Cuddy scribbled.

"You can go…" She said not looking up…

"House…" he turned at the door.

"Is Chase… Is he okay?" She questioned.

"As far as I know…" House shrugged.

Chase had fallen asleep filling out paperwork on the poisoning. Cuddy shook him awake gently…

"Chase, Chase…" He started a bit… thoughts shockingly clear…

"Cuddy… I…" Chase didn't have an ending for that.

"I came to tell you that the broad's decided not to take any disciplinary action. Everything I said was true… There was no way for you to know that a program run school wide was what was making them sick… I do wish you would take more care in the future though…" Cuddy smiled.

"Thanks…" Chase managed thickly, wincing as he shifted his sore leg.

"Now go home." Cuddy said firmly.

"House…"

"I said." Cuddy pushed firmly. Chase nodded.

"Doctor Cameron please sit down…" Cuddy said as Cameron venture into the breakroom. Cuddy was standing in front of House's famous diagnostic broad. Chase scrawl still on it.

"You're the last to arrive." Cuddy smiled. Wilson, House, Foreman, Gillian and Matt were all currently sprawled throughout the dim room.

"As you all may or may not know, Doctor Chase went before the disciplinary board this afternoon… What about is frankly not relevant and not anyone's business…" Cuddy was fuming, anger was coming off in washes.

"I'm always pissed when we have to meet to discuss negligible actions… It means I am obvious not managing properly…" Cuddy snapped and James decided she was several levels passed pissed.

"That what you are all doing in here… I'm human I make mistakes like everyone… I consent to have pushy billionaires as directors… I hire the wrong people…" That last part was definitely snapped at House…

"So you are all here because in my hectic day something has been escaping my notice for quite some time." Cuddy pursed her lips.

"Doctor House, explain a doctors standard week to me." Cuddy snapped, standing largely in the one spot, pacing a little.

"A seven to ten hour day, on call four more in case of an emergency… one rostered day off a week… Don't I get a cookie now, or maybe on eof those little sparkle-y stars." Even House was muted under the apparent fury in Cuddy.

"Good so you know what you should be doing… So why is it that Doctor Chase hasn't had a day off in over a month and has work over three days straight." Cuddy cut frostily.

"All right who finked on me?" House demanded of the room.

"House… These rule are set so that doctor aren't over worked, because when their over worked… They make mistakes and we get sued and if Chase should get sued I' holding you personally responsible…" Cuddy growled.

"As for the rest of you, you all knew, without a doubt what was going on, none of you came to me, told me. Not a single one of you worried about Chase or is metal state. I would like you all to bare in mind that you could all be held accountable for what its twit was doing." Cuddy simmered. She seemed to b settling down slowly.

"I've sent Chase home… Now all of you get back to work…" She snapped.

Chapter Fourteen

The Faults-Mine 

Abstainer n. A weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.

Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911

Cuddy had told him to go home, well home didn't seem too appealing at the moment… Jessica's mother had caught up with him in the hall and had started to scream at him. Having found out that it essential his fault that her daughter was where she was… Chase had almost thrown up right there in the hall with the woman screaming at him… Almost… she was currently sedated upstairs after having had a full-blown meltdown in the corridor.

He took a seat beside Jessica's bed… Opening the book he'd brought. The cover in large silver letters proclaimed The Wild… It was a book Chase was sad never made it to sit beside Sleeping Beauty and Cinderella.

"In the dark forest… At the edge of the earth…" Chase's voice shook slightly.

"Beyond the cities of man and the forests of beasts…" Chase's voice was growing steadier with each word, his eyes still protesting slightly. Shiver's creeping up his arm. Chase tried to focus.

"There was the wild, some thought it was a dark place… other's just an empty void, a place where all the water in the world rushed to and disappeared." Chase yawned the soft beeping on machines rhythmic and stilling.

"But no one had ever seen it to know for sure…"

Cuddy had said she'd sent him home and House isn't entirely shock when he finds Chase reading to Jessica on his rounds. House doesn't know the book, but he stays to listen anyway.

Stays to hear the gently sigh that is Chase's voice. Feels the anger at the other betraying him, evaporate. He thinks that maybe he should go in… Say something because its obvious to even him that the ducklings falling to bits. But to coddle a duckling would be to spoil it and he's may such progress with Chase…

House stays in the doorway, unnoticed, watching Chase keep himself together somehow, the voice growing quieter all the time. Watches as the other falls asleep in the chair. The book falling against his knees barely clasped in limp fingers.

House presses into the room gently, takes the book slowly from unprotesting fingers, he closes it and drops it onto the table. Slips the glasses from the others nose and places them on top and then looking down at Chase's soft bruised form he has the urge to kiss the others head, brush aside an arrant piece of blonde silk… Maybe Wilson's right and Cameron has rubbed off on him minutely. Yuck he's caught her girlie cooties and lets face it that's terminal… House smiles at his own line of thought and hobbles out closing the door behind him.

Epilogue

It Never Ends… 

Their relationship consisted

Of discussing if it existed.

Thom Gunn, Jamesian, 1991

It was close to midnight when Cameron doing late rounds, stubbled on Chase and sent him home… And it just after nine the next day as Wilson and House sat about the breakroom discussing some of Cuddy finer assets that she mad a second big appearance…

When Cameron barged threw the door panting.

"Where the fire?" Wilson asked.

"Chase…" She panted… Wilson and House looked at each other.

"Chase shouldn't even be here, now he's on fire as well… Oh, he is in such trouble if Cuddy finds out." Wilson rolled is eyes at House.

"Chase has been taken…" Cameron choked.

"Taken… who'd want him." House continued joking.

"House!" Wilson frowned having the beginnings of the wiggins.

"There's cops everywhere down stairs… They think its that guy that's in the paper's…" Cameron cried, tear gathering.

"What!"

"R.D.K…" Wilson coughed…

"_Rape, Disfigure and Kill_… that's who they think has Chase…" Wilson stuttered and then the rest was silence…


	2. Not Part Two Yet Just A Note

Okay so there are No illusions and no hurt feeling no more bloody people telling me what I already know these are the facts… My story is called In Tatters, I wrote it in less than a week while I should have been sleeping. I did it right after just reading Sleeping Beauty. A very well written fic you should all go check it. Largely I have stolen a lot of her ideas… Sad but true. I have a lot of my own work posted so as you can see this isn't a habit of mine. It certainly wasn't intentional. I realise this startling little fact before I posted it after the author of Sleeping Beauty lopped me upside of the head for using a smaller part in Shattered. I've spoken to her and or him, I'm not sure and have apologised. I at some point will be removing them both to remove a joke that is definitely not mine! Then I'll be reposting them.

People are giving me shit about a lot of things and I could give reasons for a lot of them. For instants I don't know if anyone whose read, has watch Swat but Shattered by the Rolling Stones is the song playing when Collin Farrell is working out on the beach. I've been trying to write a fic with something similar in it for ages because I love the idea and I spent thirty bucks on buying the song.

Also my grammar and writing style sucks I know this, even if my girlfriend doesn't tell me.

So I know… I know. But I'm willing to throw away a weeks worth of work which cost me a client on it I'm sorry to the author though I don't think it would bother me if someone nicked my story. But I am continuing it mainly because an idea is itching at the back of my brain and I'm not sleeping again. I think some of you could understand this. To be safe I'll stay away from Messiah Of Silence. The next part is Ten Days Away and should be up late next week maybe we are moving at the moment. That will be the whole story as I'm not posting anything smaller and then I have a third one in the works as well. Song lyrics will be through them all. If no ones still reading after this I'll understand, more than and to the author of Sleeping Beauty I'm sorry really. If you're pissed good it means you care about what you write and some talent less hack stealing it. Though I urge everyone reading this if you go hit that review button to tell me what a martyr I am do remember where we are… What we write…


	3. Ten Days Away

**A/N: So here we are. I'm really sorry kiddies. But this is possibly the hardest thing I've ever written. I wrote it and re-wrote it and just could never seem to get it right. After a while it really put me off. So I am truly sorry about the wait. Also I would like to say thankyou to all my reviewers, especially if I didn't send you a reply straight away. Sorry I try to get most people but alas a few slip through. Also a big thankyou to** Naja Melanoleuca**, for anyone who's unaware I basicallycopied my first story from hers. Somehow, believe me it was really accidental. But she has been a really good sport about it and has even encouraged me sorry thankyou. Oh and if you haven't read Sleeping Beauty go check it out. Thankyou for putting up with me and heres the next part. Enjoy. Oh, and I still haven't gained rights or ownership.**

**Ten Days Away**

**Part Two **

**Prologue**

All The Days To Go 

_Perhaps they were right in putting love into books._

_Perhaps it could not live anywhere else._

_William Faulkner_

**  
10…**

**9…**

**Saturday 14th October**

The door clicked closed and Foreman jumped, then rubbed his hands to cover it. Because really he shouldn't be scared. He hasn't done anything wrong… has no criminal record despite what House may think.

A tall slim redhead takes the seat across from him, sitting down and tucking her legs neatly beneath the chair. Her suit pressed and crisp, the deepest shade of navy one can manage without making it black. Foreman flinches as she flicks on a tape recorder and shifts files out of her arms and onto the table.

"Good ev'nin Doctor Foreman." Her voice was inflected with an accent Foreman couldn't quite place. It was deeply worn, almost gone, obviously she hadn't lived at home in a long while.

"I'm Special Agent Clarice Starling of the FBI, how do you do." She smiled extending a hand.

"Fine thankyou." Foreman mumbled and shifted the metal chairs in his opinion modelled after something used by the inquisition.

"Now as I understand it Detective Scanlin-" Detective Scanlin was ex-Russian army, a huge blonde hulk of a guy, who spoke in low tones and chewed his tongue almost constantly.

"-Has explained to you that although you aren't under arrest you may also have a lawyer present, if that would make you more comfortable." She exhaled, with an elegance that reminded Foreman of some delicate royal rather than a FBI agent.

"Yes." Foreman offered and omitted the fact that Scalin more told, then explained anything.

"And you have no objections to giving a statement without counsel?" That small polite titter…

"None." Foreman frowned wondering if he looked guilty.

"Okay so why don't we just start with the last time you saw Doctor Chase." Brushing a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

"Ummm I guess it was Thursday morning." The conversation flickering in the back of his thoughts.

"Thursday… the 12th of October." She added.

"Yes."

"Did he seem okay to you…" She prompted and Foreman wondered if he should spill about House… Did she already know… Would she find out?

"He was tired, he'd been pulling a lot of hours at the hospital." Foreman tried to slow his breathing.

"He had… But no one else had." She dug, prodded.

"He and House… had a bit of a run in…" Foreman said numbly because none of this seemed real. Scene's like this were saved for B grade movies.

"Doctor Gregory House, your boss." Foreman nodded and she scribbled something else down and Foreman's stomach lurched. Maybe he should explained that…

"So what did you two talk about?" Foreman lost his train of thought as the conversation between he and Chase bubbled back up in his mind again. How desperate he'd seemed, how broken up and all Foreman had done was…

"Just a case…" He said guiltily.

* * *

Cameron watched as the needle pierced flesh, felt the patient wince slightly, tried to steady the shaking tremble in her hands. Ground her teeth as the welts on her arms now covered by the lab coat itched and burned. 

"Thankyou." She mumbled politely and excused herself quickly. She stumbled slightly outside the door and then regained her footing, the lights overhead seemed too bright. They washed out the walls, dulled the brief flickers of sunlight from outside. Cameron blinked and breathed as tears welled and pricked and burned at the back of her eyes.

Cameron put one foot tentatively in front of the other as she stepped through the clinic. Fighting the urge to wrap arms around herself. It was like needlepoints on her flesh, sharp little digs… They were all watching her, wondering why she'd sent him home, wondering why she'd sent him out there. Because if she hadn't he'd still be okay. Pig-headed and rude and jaggedly weak, but still okay.

Its times like these that she likes the cold darkness of the lab. Loves the way it's heavily air-conditioned and windowless. Adrift from the rest of the world, cut off from outside, separate from time and if it were empty she would know she was hiding.

"Hey have you given the police a statement yet?" Thankfully it's not empty.

"No," Cameron frowns, setting the sample down on the counter. Foreman frowns and sighing leans back in the high-backed chair.

"I was supposed to this morning but…" Cameron turns her back on him, plays with one of the many pieces of plastic lining the walls. Pretends she doing something important, because as long as she is then she doesn't have to turn back.

"We were so busy around here that I just…" Cameron shifts and can feel heat breaking out across her shoulders, she rubs her neck and feels the beginning of welts. Fights the urge to cry because of it, because its not rational, people don't fall apart over the allergic reactions they get from switching detergents.

"Cameron there hasn't been this many healthy people walking around since before the dawn of time." Foreman frowns. Everything was dead quiet, the clinic emptier than Foreman had ever seen it. Christmas day wasn't this quiet. Yet everything seemed to have screeched to a halt in the wake of Chase's disappearance two days before. Foreman couldn't figure whether that was unsettling or not. It seemed as though everyone was taking a day off from being ill.

"I just thought get through back-logged samples and blood-work while it lasts so… I mean I can talk to the police anytime, it's just…" She turned back and looked at him. Realised that she couldn't put it off any longer. Some cold hard lump settled at the back of her throat and she had to focus to breathe.

"Cameron you have to talk to them." He pointed out and watched her shake her head minutely.

"I know it's just its not like I have some shocking insight to offer…" She said and pulled absently at her lab coat.

Chapter One

Prickle 

_An the many men so beautiful; and dead did they all lie,_

_And a thousand, thousand slimy things lived on- And so did I._

_Samuel Taylor Coleridge, Rhyme of the Ancient Mariner_

"Besides having the words 'worlds biggest idiot' tattooed to your forehead… The cream Doctor Chase gave you should work, you just need to take the ring out." House sulked after seeing more of this twit then he ever wanted too. The guy had also spent more than twenty minutes arguing with him on who he was. God, send someone to fill in for you once and everyone gets bent out of shape.

"Hey do you know how much it hurt getting that done." He whined.

"Thankfully no, but I doubt you'll like the other option." House grumbled.

"What is it?"

"Leave it in, maybe the antiseptic will still clear it up… If it doesn't though amputation is just around the corner." House smirked.

"Amputation of what?" House glared pointedly.

"God, I'll take it out." He said shifting on the table.

"Good choice." House dug.

* * *

"Can you believe I spent almost half an hour convincing some patient that I was Doctor House." 

"Well I wouldn't admit to that if I were you." Wilson said twisting a plastic fork between long fingers. There was a worrying angry edge to it.

"So which long term patient kicked off?" House questioned.

"None." Wilson snapped.

"Well I assume something's chased you out here into the wet." House lathered; looking at the staining on James's back from where the man had sat on a water-slicked chair.

"I'm just thinking." Wilson sighed, rubbing tired eyes.

"That's a misnomer if I ever heard one." House barbed.

"House do you not care… can you not comprehend what's going on?" Wilson spat bitterly.

"Is this about Chase?" The sarcasm was more than inlaid.

"No it's about the left side of the bed!" Wilson snapped. House actually took a step back, retreated a little, which he never did. Especially where Wilson was concerned.

"Oh please Chase is a bored little rich kid." House puffed.

"He'll be back in a few days from Paris with some leather clad supermodel and some really nice hickies." House said rolling his eyes.

"I'm just gonna put aside the fact that that is by far the most rambling piece of drivel you've ever spouted and ask are you taking something else besides Vicodin…" Wilson snarled pulling himself up out of the Chair. Practically swinging himself up infront of House.

"Do you honestly think this is all just gonna turn out okay… This… creature has butchered twelve people do you honesty think that Chase has just gone running off on vacation… Do you really think that…" House has the distinct impression that Wilson is well on his way to a stroke or perhaps just bursting a blood vessel. Maybe one of the huge one's in the prefrontal lobe.

"House… it is not okay." Its like a curse almost, some hideous threat that House should be weary of and then the other is stalking back off inside.

He turns in the door once more and House is reminded of another similar, and entirely different conversation they had only a few days ago.

"Oh and just so you know… The staff, are blaming you for this… The 'I hate House' fan club has just had the name changed to 'we wanna dismember House and throw the parts into the East River'." A weary twist of lips and then he's gone once more and House falls down into one of the sopping chairs. Blames it on his leg when he thinks it may be shock.

Chapter Two

Stripped 

_We never notice how hopelessly alone, or ridiculously out of place we are until we are surrounded by others._

_Terry Pier_

"Doctor Cameron hi, you were supposed to come see me this mornin'." The lilt is an unmistakable southern drawl, even faded and worn as it is.

"Detective…" Allison stutters and then decides that breathing would probably help the whole speech thing. Wonders briefly if she is actually a detective or is that just something bleeding over from every cop show that Allison has ever seen.

"Sorry I had matters at the hospital that had to be attended to. I did call your assistant…" She tries to wriggle off again but finds it hard when actually talking to another person rather than the mouthpiece of a phone.

"Yes I appreciate how busy you do all get, but I interviewed the bulk of nursing and orderly staff yesterday and was hoping to get around to the rest of you'all today. Especially those closest to Chase." The you all is contracted slightly and for some reason it calms Allison marginally.

"I interviewed Doctor Wilson and Doctor Gillian late last night. Then Doctor Foreman early this morning, I was just on my way to see Doctor Cuddy but since I have you here…" Cameron bites her lip and starts to filter through excuses. She's outside in the corridor, the lights overhead still bleaching out the room.

"I am actually just on my way to see a patient…" Cameron tries.

"This won't take long…" She corners and Cameron's reminded of the African documentaries she use to watch. Packs of Lions pulling apart small animals. Only this woman doesn't need any help. There's something persuasive and authoritative about her and Cameron doesn't think its just herself who'd have a hard time arguing with her. The gun and badge probably help as well.

"We can do it right here if that makes you more comfortable." She presses, possibly the way only she can.

"Alright." Cameron breathes, tries to remember to do that at regular intervals

She does herself in really; she should have gone through more excuses than what she did. But then how would that help Chase?

"So as I understand it you were really the last person to see Chase…" So here they are…

"Yes he was asleep in one of the rooms." Cameron shifted carefully. Didn't want to let the other see her doing it. Because if she were shifting it meant she was uncomfortable and if she was uncomfortable she had to have done something wrong. She had done something wrong, she'd…

"One of the rooms? With a patient?" Starling presses digs if only to get a reaction because she already has heard about Jessica Pamella from Doctor Gillian.

"Oh no not like that, she's twelve…" Cameron pauses and realises that that sounds worse.

"He was asleep in a chair beside her bed, there was a book sitting on her bedside table, I think he was reading to her." Cameron explained.

"The book was closed on the table?" She asked and Cameron considers the question before she answers. Wonders what the other thinks, what she thinks of her.

"Yes, his glasses were on top…" She scrawls something down and then pauses to glance at Cameron.

"Interesting." She breathes and Cameron's stomach twists.

"Doctor Cameron did you know that Doctor House was making Doctor Chase work 24 hour shifts?" She asks and Cameron's world tilts a little off kilter.

"Yes." Red creeps into her cheeks and Cameron feels stupid now for letting House do it.

"Did he talk to you about it?" She's tapping her pen now and each rapid pat seems to match Cameron's fluttering pulse.

"No. But then Chase is a kind of a private person." Allison breathed.

"But you knew."

"It was kind of obvious." Allison gropes at the table slightly trying to still shaking hands.

"But you didn't do anything about it?" Her mouth tilts a little to one side Allison realises and doesn't know why. It's just some random observation that she didn't consciously make. Though she wonders if the other is disappointed with her.

"No." She almost sighs, puffs into the cool air of the empty breakroom, pushing herself back into her chair as her face floods redder. Because she should have done something, she should have done a lot of things… Should have done anything other than nothing.

"Why didn't Chase?" Cameron's eyes widen…

"Ummm…" And she grasps at straws.

"There were people he could have talked to, Doctor House was flouting hospital rules by keeping him on that long. He was wearing down to his very last threads I've heard. So I just find it strange… He didn't say anything at all to you?" Her lips purse as she waits and Allison wonders at the answer that she wants.

"No… I don't think he talked to anyone." Allison blinks and wonders at how much she never questioned about Chase. Wonders at how much she doesn't question now.

Chapter Three

Curious 

_Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice._

_But for those who love, Time is eternity._

_Henry Van Dyke_

Cuddy's accosted just after three, caught trapped behind her desk with so much paperwork stacked up that she couldn't even begin to lie convincingly about 'just stepping out' even if she wanted too.

"What can I do for you Agent Starling?" Cuddy smiles, tries to layer on sweetness like cake frosting and then wonders why? This isn't exactly a social visit or even an official one at the best of times.

"Actually I came to take your statement, forgive the informality but everyone here seems to be so short of time I have just been grabbing them where I can." She beamed.

"Hijacking your breakrooms as it were… I hope you don't mind." She breathes picking at Cuddy's desk lamp. The tone suggesting that she really doesn't care one way or the other.

"No anything to make things easier. Not stir things up." Cuddy sighs.

"One of your staff has been taken I think that's about as stirred as it gets." She said sucking her bottom lip lightly.

"Capricious choice of words." Cuddy pursed looking over the other.

"Capricious…? I'd say negligible…" She pushed back.

"Are we talking about some else Agent Starling?" Cuddy frowned.

"As far I knew we were discussing phrasing. Did I miss something?" She frowned innocently. Somehow Cuddy didn't think she missed anything.

"Speaking of negligibility though I've heard from other staff members that Chase was brought before a disciplinary board midday the day before last." She prodded.

"He was." Cuddy gave only a small bit of ground because this was her office after all.

"But you would already know all this for sure considering I've given you access to the files… including the disciplinary notation." Cuddy hit back.

"Of course… It is however just a little unclear on the outcome." She frowned falsely.

"I don't see how, it clearly states that although Doctor Chase could be held accountable for the infraction, it was deemed inappropriate since there was no wilful negligence behind it. It was a human error." Cuddy breathes.

"I see. So it had nothing to do with the fact that you personally were holding Doctor House responsible for it. After finding out that he was over working the other." Starling was slowly laying out a hand.

"I did find that there were certain…" Cuddy picked out each and every word.

"Flaws in Doctor House's roster… It however had no effect on my, or the rest of the boards decision. I sent Doctor Chase home and was planning on re-working the roster with Doctor House at a later date… All of which seems blatantly trivial now. So may I ask how this has any bearing on Chase's disappearance?" Cuddy snipped in frustration.

"At this point… probably very little… But it's better to be over-informed than under-informed." She said curtly.

"You think he's dead don't you?" Cuddy frowned wondering at the tightness in her chest. She'd let it get out of hand. Unwittingly, but ignorance was never an excuse… Maybe if she'd…

"No at this point I think he is very much alive." Cuddy listened to what she said and even more to what she didn't say.

"For how long?" Starling paused, stared off into space for a moment.

"Sorry as such I'm not permitted to share certain facts." Cuddy's fingers were already wondering towards the phone.

"Naturally…" The smile was ice tinged.

Chapter Four

Avoidance And Deception

_And much it grieved my heart to think,_

_What man has made of man._

_Wordsworth, Lines Written in Early Spring_

"So generally when working on missing persons case you have about a 48 hour window before your chances of finding them start to slim rapidly." Will Graham paused looked over the uniforms.

"However this is slightly different… we know who we are dealing with. That is a blessing and a curse. He is a creature of habit so we have a pretty good time-line, unfortunately unless we turn over some staggering connection with this new disappearance we still don't have even scraps of evidence." Will paused to breathe, pacing back and forth.

"No blood, no fluids, no fingerprints or fibres." Will was listing them off on his fingers.

"We need double time on this. The first rape happens on day four; torture starts on day six and come nine he kills them. So two days until Doctor Chase is raped, four he starts losing body parts and seven-we're too late.

Now you can forget about evidence from the car park. Tech's combed over it from the better part of three hours and got nothing… Despite the fact that the guy's prerequisite calla lily was left on the hood of Chase's car we're pretty sure he wasn't snatched from there… There was no signs of a struggle and at that time of night it was pretty high traffic considering in was shift change." Will explains.

"So then where was he taken from and why leave the lily there?" A uniform asked.

"Probably on the street… Chase's apartment is only three blocks from the hospital and he was tired so he probably decided to walk home. As for the lily… they are not always found at the crime scenes. Ben Prest's lily was left on his bed in his dorm room… Now we know he never made it back from the library that night."

"Why Calla lilies?"

"We don't know… There are obvious funeral flower references but I don't think so... I think it has more to do with 'them' then flaunting the fact that he's going to kill them." Starling watched from the door.

* * *

"Please tell me there was something earth shattering at the hospital." Graham sighed as they fell into step beside each other. 

"Distraught colleagues and busy doctors." She huffed.

"Interview everyone yet?" He breathed.

"All except Doctor House. He's supposed to drop by." She frowned with distaste.

"Not your favourite person?" He hitched a brow.

"Not even close, I haven't even really met him and already I know he's an arrogant son of a bitch." She pursed.

"Speaking of which." She pulled out a silver cased mobile and punched in a number.

"Yes doctor House please… Thankyou."

"Doctor House, Agent Starling here… you were supposed to drop by… ten minutes ago!" She lilted after a moment of silence. She pulled her phone away from her ear after another moment.

"You know if he was just gonna hang up he could have done it with a bit more class. Bad connection or something." Will smirked as they pushed their way into one of the smaller case rooms. Whiteboards… full of disturbing pictures and both his and her scrawls. Winding and untidy as they were.

Will put up a picture of Chase at the end of a long line, then dropped down into a stiff-backed chair.

"Anything new on Justin Billings." Starling asked.

"Nothing useful." Will frowned, thinking about the very first victim.

"Are we slipping in our old age?" Will asked, leaning back and resting an arm over tired eyes.

"You may be I'm neither old nor addle-brained." Starling flipped through well picked over files as though they would suddenly offer up something new.

"Good you work on the case, I'll sleep." Will said removing the arm and looking up at the non-crime-scene photos.

"I don't get it, why can't we find one decent suspect from Justin at least… He was the first, the killer should have some affinity with him." Starling breathed and it was her turn to lean back, close overworked eyes.

"Not always… and Justin might not even be the first." Graham offered.

"But what he does to them… all of them reeks of familiarity… He scoops out their eyes and cuts off their hair for Christ's sake…" She bit.

"While their alive…" She added.

"Yeah but theirs no connection between them… If he was on any kind of terms with all of them we would have him by now." Will pointed out as something started to pull at his mind.

"Maybe not, maybe he's just below notice." She chewed her cheek. Will was only just listening.

"Starling give your opinion…" Will said pulling himself up and plucking photo's from the board.

"What's the similarities between these two?" Starling looked over the two shots he was holding up. Both pictures provided by the families.

"Nothing." She breathed after a moment. Benjamin Prest and George Walcot were two non-sequateurs. Ben had been a College student studying entomology, while George was an apprentice chef.

Will took away Ben's and added Chase's photo. Two pairs of startlingly alive green eyes stared at her. Will held up his finger. And then swapped George's photo with Ben's and suddenly she was looking at two of the most unfashionable haircuts she'd ever seen.

"It really could just be the lack of sleep talking…" The words trailed on Will's lips and Starling's eyes went up to the board. He was right it was flimsy, but all the boys on the board bore some resemblance not to each other per se, but rather to Chase. Some even could have passed for him at a distance. It was the kind of thought that settled in your stomach and nested.

"But maybe Chase isn't the latest and maybe these others were the firsts…" Will offered.

"Chase is the obsession and these are the warm up acts…" They both looked at the morgue photos, so astringent and sickening.

"Don't envy the fact that he has floor seats to the main event." Will frowned.

"Alright its flimsy, but until we find something more solid…"

"You need to go depose Doctor House." Will said, thinking of all the statements he'd taken from hospital staff. Wondering over anything that seemed off.

"Oh joy."

Chapter Five

Pity 

_If I can stop one heart from breaking,_

_I shall not live in vain._

_Emily Dickinson, Poems, 1_

"I should have said something." Foreman finds Cameron curled up on one end of the breakroom couch, staring blankly off into space.

"A lot of us should have said something." He won't excuse her, tell her its not her fault because that would sound false. In wouldn't offer any comfort.

"I was blinded by my own trivialities." She mumbles, knee tucked up to her chin.

"I looked but didn't see it." She puffed and it sounds like some drunk rambling, all the worse because Foreman knows she wouldn't have had a drop.

"I didn't see the strain, the weakness… Because I didn't…" Tears are weighing on her voice and Foreman ventures further into the room. Cameron looks up at him.

"I didn't want to see it… I didn't…" She sighs shakily. Lips pursing and pulling into a frown.

"Because if I saw it then it was problem and I didn't want to care…" It cuts off into some sort of wounded little whimper and Foreman drops down beside her. Allison latches onto him like he's the Titanic's last lifeboat, her face pressed to the crook of his neck. Tears and hot puffs of breath itching his skin.

"I didn't do anything about House… Couldn't even stand up to him for one second." She panted and Eric rubbed her back at loss with what to say, could anything ever make this better?

"Chase must have felt so alone… I jumped ship on him… House threw him in the deep-end and I just left him there to drown." She sobbed.

"Now he's gonna die thinking that no one cares… His father isn't even here… Couldn't blow off a couple of meeting to see if his son's okay…" She sniffled.

"Allison you aren't alone in this." Eric mumbled.

"None of us stood up to House…"

"You did." She breathes in a tired sort of way.

"No… I whined and suggested and stayed well within my little comfort zone…" Foreman admits and feel his cheeks colour because its absurd that he should be afraid of House.

"We all may have jumped ship but I hopped the rail first… I sold Chase out when House was looking to fire one of us." Foreman spews up bitterly and actually feels a deep streak of hate towards their gimpy boss forming. Foreman didn't actually think he could hate anyone just on the merit of being. But House pricked every nerve he had, made him feel inadequate and stupid and…

"I could see Chase falling apart and I was glad that it wasn't me." Foreman sighed.

"Aren't we?" She breathed.

"What?"

"He's pulling us all slowly apart…" Foreman sifts uncomfortably because she shouldn't be able to look at him and know that.

"Coconuts."

"What?" Cameron says looking up at the other.

"You smell like coconuts." Foreman clarifies and licks dry lips.

"My lip gloss." She mumbles.

"I broke up with my last boyfriend over it." She sighed, because as long as they were talking she could stop thinking.

"Over gloss?"

"It smells and tastes like coconut… he wouldn't stop eating it." Under normal circumstances Foreman would laugh over that. But then under normal circumstances they wouldn't be talking about it because under normal circumstances he and Cameron rub and grate and don't really like each other. Usually she wouldn't be pressed up against his chest, close enough to hear a steady heartbeat. That aside though and usually he would laugh… Only this isn't usually and heavy silence follows the confessions, both big and small.

Chapter Six

_T.M.I._

_Ignorance is bliss!_

_Gray_

Cuddy looked pale. This is the only thing that seemed noteworthy to House as he stands in her office door. She looked pale and drawn and sick and if she weren't sitting House would worry about her falling over. Her suit jacket has disappeared to somewhere that isn't her shoulders and there's a half-emptied bottle of scotch on her desk. A half-emptied glass sitting beside it. No ice… Cuddy always has ice… Cuddy almost never drinks at work…

Cuddy ignored House's outline in the doorway, knowing that he'd announce himself when he felt like it. She took another swallow, as the familiar fresh taste of vomit crept up to the back of her throat.

Twenty minutes after her makeshift interview and she'd been on the phone with a reporter friend, an hour and three hundred dollars later and she had the entire case file in her lap. Half an hour after that and her head had been over the toilet, lunch making an unexpected reappearance and if anyone had explained to her what fish tasted like coming back up she would have gone with chicken salad today instead.

"Well at least you're not in here with all the lights off." House prods coldly and when has it ever been anything but sarcasm between them. Even sex had been sarcastic…

Cuddy realises in a wash of sickly heat that she still isn't drunk enough, not for the conversation, not to forget the crime scene photos…

"Come back in about half an hour House." She breathes and refills the glass, wonders if maybe she should just slug straight from the bottle.

"Sorry unconscious chicks never did anything for me." House barbs and Cuddy snorts because she's cracking down the centre and he's still…

"House go away." She spits and maybe slurs a little. Can you ever really know for sure if you're slurring or not.

"Oh not you too." He frowns as though she's done something to him.

"Go away House!" Cuddy sighs, clutches the bottle for dear life, because she doesn't want to do this to him. She better than anyone knows that House is layered ice. Not steel. Not some unbreakable substance. Just frozen water, one really good whack and it cracked right down the centre. Shattered, fractured into tiny little bits that would never fit back together again.

"As I said to boy-wonder Chase will come ambling back in a few weeks with a cool tan and a cool and stylish European hooker." House says acerbic as ever.

Cuddy would splutter if she weren't so drunk, because now under the haze of alcohol she can except that that's just House. Another sip and she picks up the case file, flicks it to him across the table… knows in her bones that it'll break him… and doesn't care. She cracked the other before and somehow didn't put him back together right… A joint effort between her and Stacey really. Now he didn't trust her enough to… Had he ever!

"This is your fault!" She breathes because she doesn't cry, can't afford to anymore. Not with doctors and nurses under her care.

Cuddy's stands shakily, taking the bottle and glass with her as she fights to take each step out of her own office…

Chapter Seven

Kicking And Screaming 

_Friendship often ends in love; but love in friendship, never._

_Charles C. Colton_

"She asked me ya'know, right off the bat." House winced, because he doesn't mind drunks so much when he's one of them. Cuddy to her credit though is a lot less plastered then James, or at least she was when they parted company.

House drops the weighty file down onto his desk. The desk that James is sprawled behind, an empty bottle of some description sitting discarded. The other actually waiting to vent frustration's on him… It happens about as often as Cuddy knocking'em backing at work.

"And I was left wondering if I was really transparent… or if she was just…" James's hands are talking for him, moving to and fro in front of his slumped form.

"Figures you'd loose your head over a girl." House scoffed, because maybe, just maybe he can avoid this. If he ignores it… maybe…

"I lost my head over you." James says bluntly and sits up, tries to stand and falls to his knees laughing. Holding onto the top of House's desk.

"She… Stolon or Sterling…" He's almost-sort-of-half-sobbing, half bitterly chuckling and House didn't think James could sound like him. Dejected and depressed and sarcastic at the same time, because hell he'd practiced to get that tone down.

"She asked me just straight out if I was fucking you…" James is standing now, standing almost steadily.

"Well she didn't say that!…" He toyed with some random part of the wood. Some smooth blemishing notch.

"She asked me if I was 'in a relationship' with you." He actually exclaims with his fingers.

"I only realised after I said no… That it was the truth…" House thinks that maybe he should say, something, anything because he has the distinct impression that whatever he may have with James is about to come to an untimely end. Maybe it ended a while ago… or at least should have.

Yellow light from the street behind the blinds flickers across chance bits and pieces. Highlights of nothingness.

"I always pitied Cameron and Cuddy and… Stacey…" Wilson rambles on, runs some words together and still House can't seem to find anything to interrupt with.

"Because they just didn't get!…" A small little hurting out of place pause.

"That you can't have… anything with you, just can't…" He explains and House feels a lump settling into his stomach.

"And I always thought they were so stupid to try… Turns out I'm the pathetic one! 'Cos I knew it for years… just never got it…" House just wants it to go away and if Chase were here right now he'd hate him all over again.

"James…" House says as the other starts to walk out on him, just like Cuddy. House wonders vaguely if the other will blame him too, twist the knife a little more.

"House don't…" A whole speech… and its those two words, House knows there's never gonna be any fixing it.

"Don't coddle me, I don't need it." James sighs, tired and even a little forgiving maybe. It still stings.

Chapter Eight

Stiff 

_There is no creature loves me,_

_And if I die, no soul shall pity me._

_Shakespeare_

**  
8…**

**Sunday, 15th October**

They were both hung over, only it seemed to have flip effects or so it seemed to Cameron. Cuddy was waspish and snippish and heaven help, anyone who irritated her.

While Wilson was quiet and sullen and generally dejected, moping about the hospital in a sort of a daze.

House of all was least himself, quiet like James, only more thoughtful than sullen, though House was usually pretty frosty anyway… and he wasn't hung over. At least not that Cameron could tell.

It didn't seem right some how. Cameron worked her way through clinic duty and rounds, barely there at all. The world seemed to move on around her, without her, settling this terrible sense of detachment around her… Was this what it felt like to Chase, did he think they'd all just moved on without him? Was he going to die thinking that?

Cameron twisted vaguely red coloured strands of pasta around a plastic fork. Watching as the pasta clumped and grew eventually falling in on itself, only to start all over again. What a frivolous exercise, like eating itself. Like the police reinterviewing everyone! What did they really think they'd find a second time?

Cameron forked her lunch into her mouth finally and spat it back out in half the time. The spaghetti ice cold and slimy.

"Couldn't be that bad." Foreman commented as he pushed into the room, looking as tired as she felt… and realistically probably looked too.

"It's cold." Cameron mumbled pushing hair behind her ear and hoisting herself up. Scraping the offending meal into the trash.

"You know…" Foreman's voice was cut off by the door closing behind Cameron… She was two steps off running as she headed down the corridor, because she didn't want to hear it. Couldn't hear it from him, because she'd cried on his shoulder only a few hours ago, had shown him all those raw little wounds and if they went back to trading bland little trivialities now she'd just fall to bits.

Cameron ducked into one of the empty hospital rooms, shutting and locking the door. She leaned against the cold panel and let her legs fold beneath her weight. Huddling in the corner like some kind of scared child.

Allison fished her phone out of her pocket, flipped it open and turned it on, sniffling slightly as she flipped through the memory.

She closed her eyes and brought the piece of plastic to her ear. There was clicking and shuffling and then a dull kind of ringing which sounded a million miles away.

"Hello." It was light and airy and so achingly familiar.

"Mum." Cameron croaked.

"Allison?"

"It's really good to hear your voice…"

Chapter Nine

All The Pieces Of Us 

_We come to love not by finding a perfect person but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly._

_Sam Keen_

House spent the day largely avoiding people and had the impression that Wilson at least was extending him the same curtesy. He hadn't seen hide nor hair of the man all day.

Cuddy though didn't seem to be in the same generous mood. She seemed to be lurking around every corner since nine o'clock. Snapping and snarling at him to get his overdue clinic duty done. Damn it where was Chase when he needed his Clinic duty handled... Little piker! Even without Chase there though House still wasn't doing it. Probably a bad idea since the vein on her forehead was starting to show. House pushed buttons anyway.

He got busted though just before three. He was casually limping up the third floor corridor when a rather annoying, rather pissed southern drawl interrupted.

"Doctor House, I am now conducting a second round of interviews and have yet to see you even once!" House grimaced and turned to face the neurotic redhead.

"Agent Starling though I'm sure there's nothing short of dentistry that's better than your company, I am really busy at the moment!" He smirked and started to make a break for it.

"Doctor House have I explained that I'm not some bimbo of a patient, who you can just blow-off at your leisure." She snapped closing the distance between them.

"Well now that you have I'm sure I'll take it to heart." House pricked- the wrong lady apparently.

"Doctor House I have been more than accommodating with you… So you can either be interviewed or arrested… It makes no matter me to drag you out of here in cuffs." She lathered.

"Really? No matter? Funny, I get the impression, agent that you really wanna hurt me." House shot back.

"It's on my Christmas list…" She said coolly.

"Beating a crippled man… That'll look good for you…" House taunted.

"I've been caught doing worse." She added not missing a beat.

"I'll bet."

"Doctor House!" She sounded really pissed now… He still didn't care… Unfortunately it was at that moment precisely that all of House's bad karma decided to kick in and bite him in the ass.

"House! Why the hell is your clinic duty still not done!" Cuddy snarled, barging up the corridor.

"If you don't get it done right now…"

"Take me! I'm yours!" House breathed grabbing the obnoxious redhead's arm…

This was how he found himself inside an interrogation room. It was somewhat disappointing really; House had always pictured something more imposing. That was how it always seemed in the movies anyway.

"Doctor House why exactly was it that Doctor Chase was working 24 hour shifts before he disappeared?" She breezed pertly.

"I was teaching him the finer points of sleep depravation." House smirked and Starling gritted her teeth in a mocking grimace.

"You were having a fight with him?" She pushed.

"There wasn't really much fighting." House frowned.

"But you-s… were… at odds." She said drawing out her words, as though picking each.

"Not really." House puffed and she glared slightly.

"I've heard several different people that the two of you were in the middle of a terrible-spat." There's a taunting note deeply inlaid.

"Well if ya know why ask." House sighed.

"Just trying to get your perspective on things." Starling smiles, more a pursing of lips.

"I'm a mean old bastard, who tortured poor Chase relentlessly-what other perspective would you like?" House bit.

"So it's true then?" As if it really needed clarification!

"More or less." House admitted.

"You hated him." Round and round in circles and it was starting to piss House off.

"Would you like me say no now-because he's gone… Is that what everyone else has said. That they're so sorry they never new him better." House snapped.

"Weren't nicer too him… Didn't protect him from the big bad House monster." He half-rants.

"Yes I hated him. I hated the fact that he was completely spineless, all teary-eyed, trembling mouthed and awkward elbows and-" House stops abruptly and smirks bitterly because she's better than him-

"He was a pain in my ass." House finishes simply.

"So you didn't have any other kind of relationship with him?" And she just continues on as though she didn't even notice.

"Yeah, prepubescent-looking, skinny little blondes are really to my taste." House smirks coldly.

"They're to someone's taste." She reminds painfully and has House really curious.

Chapter Ten

Decaying 

_A life without love is like a heap of ashes upon a deserted hearth-with the fire dead, the laughter stilled, and the light extinguished._

_Frank P Tebbetts_

House had made the catastrophic near-fatal mistake of reading the thick file Cuddy had given him. It was all he could think about after his interview/interrogation. This was what found House sitting alone in Chase's apartment, feet kicked up in a lounge sofa.

All the lights were off and Starling would probably have a field day if she found him here. But they weren't coming here; no one was…

House closed his eyes and tilted his head back, breathing in cool, stale air. Breathing in Chase, that sweet-spicy, almost bitter scent oh-so apparent here.

It was such an odd place, so not what he'd expected. Brat teenager or professional design, either would have been allowable, predictable, but this- The walls were painted, actually painted- forests and castles and just plan swirls of colour… and that would be okay too, if it were finished. If it were finished House could assume that Chase in all his rich brat-ness had decided to have designer walls. But they're not finished, there's paints and brushes lying about the place and some walls are white with just the corners started and others have blank patches amongst mosaics of colour. It's odd and off-putting and just not right. Like the canvas's lining the walls, leaned against every available surface- it's so odd. Especially considering that Chase's furniture- what there is of it is so normal. Expensive, lavish pieces that seem picked by someone else.

House opens his eyes and realises in the fog of darkness that vines and veins of colour have started to creep across the ceiling. He has to wonder on how long before Chase starts painting the polished floorboards. Has he already?

Gregory pulls himself up stiffly and moves to the kitchen, intending on finding water and downing quite a few pills, probably more than he should… What else is new? It hits him as he steps onto the white tile that he shouldn't be here. Should've have come, should've broken in and should've stayed. The kitchen is metal and tile and glass and if it weren't for the bowl of fruit sitting in the middle of the counter House could mistake this place for some kind of surgical room. All clean and pris, again completely unrelated to the rest of the house. MPD, was the only reason for it, because Chase didn't seem to be living with anyone else physical. House downed the pills and then inspected the fridge just because. Chase cooked… or at least made it look that way. The stainless steel fridge and freezer were both full. All green vegetables and shiny fruit and frozen packages of meat. So Chase cooked..? Yet there were no dishes in the sink, short of the one he'd just used, none drying the rack. Open bottles of wine, but no misplaced cups…

Weird…

House lurked into the bathroom, another sterile piece of glass and metal and tile. Chase's artwork hadn't invaded here either. White towels, who ever really had white towels? Chase apparently. House opened the linen closet just to make sure. There wasn't a colour in sight. House had to wonder about just who he'd hired. He had always known that of the three, Chase was the strangest, the most unbalanced. The one who'd been broken as a child, he'd just never realised how deep it ran.

House raided the medicine cabinet, curious if the other wasn't harbouring a few addictions. He'd be really surprised if it were empty. It wasn't.

Doxepin, 25 mg, one capsule twice a day.

Dothiepin, 150 mg, one capsule before bed.

Ergotamine, 2 mg at onset of migraine.

Clomipramine, 100 mg, one capsule three times a day.

That was just the tip of the ice burg, Chase could probably start his own pharmacy. Most perplexing was the one bottle of Bromocriptine prescribed to Lily Able. Chase wasn't the prescribing physician on any of the bottles either, rather a doctor Greene. Also with the exception of over-the-counter pain-killers everything was years old, including the bottle of infant Panadol.

House replaced the bottles and pushed the mirror back into place, pacing off into Chase's bedroom, it was unsettling like everything else. Like the door next to it that was not only locked but deadbolted! From the outside!

Weird…

House ended up sprawled across Chase's neatly made bed, taking childish satisfaction from crumpling the perfection. This place! It was suffocating, like someone sitting across your chest and House wondered if Chase felt the same way about it.

House glanced across at the closet door he'd left open. Jeans and pants and Chase's horrible suits and ties and shirts and… for some reason a plastic wrapped wedding dress!

The immunologist was insane. Or moonlighting as a woman, Or something that House didn't, couldn't understand. Chase was a pit of shadows and no matter how hard you glared they would never stir any clearer.

House puffed and pulled himself up, wondering if Starling would be able to make any sense of this if she did ever decide to drop by. Would she simply step in the door and an explanation would come spilling out. Would she be able to explain the wedding dress. The obvious one was that Chase had been married, at some point. But where was the other evidence. House had, had the bitterest divorce ever and yet even he still had a few pictures…

He ambled back through the kitchen. He had been so sure he had the other pinned down, had him so figured out. A spoiled little rich brat, unhappy because daddy didn't fawn over him the way everyone else did… He didn't have a clue…

House started slightly at the sound of a key scraping in the lock of the front door. His heart kicked up just a notch as he realised he was lurking about the darkened apartment of a kidnapped colleague.

The door opened and a vague shape stepped in, short and slim and for a second House thought he might be right about Chase just popping back up.

Th living room light flicked on and House blinked at the dim light being cast into the kitchen. House turned his head away, heard bags drop then the short click of heeled steps and the kitchen light was flicked on to. Bursting before his dilated pupils. He winced and slowly forced his eyes back open.

"Hi." He frowned to the startled blue eyes of a middle-aged woman, dark, greying hair falling around an oval face.

"Hi. What the hell are you doing in my son's apartment!"

Chapter Eleven

Adelaide Ann 

_I have spread my dreams under your feet;_

_Tread softly because you tread on my dreams_

_William Butler Yeats_

House's mind crashed, mother, Chase's mother. Dead ten years my ass. House's thought's raced and he shouldn't be surprised after touring Chase's apartment. Why wouldn't the blonde have lied through his teeth, at least once.

"Your Chase's mother." House frowns.

"Mother-In-Law, does it really matter, who the hell are you!" She snapped. So Chase had been married.

"I'm Chase's boss." House offers lamely. She glares at him, looks him over.

"Thomas Hilton." She half asked.

"Gregory House." He corrected.

"Oh," Her entire demeanour changed.

"I should have guessed." She breathed with sudden disinterest and went back to the lounge to retrieve her forgotten bags.

"Should have guessed what?" Its House's turn to be confused.

"That you were you." She sighed.

"Chase told me you were very fond of B and E's." It's so odd to hear a woman of her years and cultured British tones, say something like B and E.

"Actually what he said was that you were fond of making them do it." She set down a bag of cat food and went to open the kitchen window. Moving as though there was nothing off about the apartment.

"Still though a little off putting having you looming about in the dark like that." She lilted and House was starting to wonder if she knew anything at all.

"I'm surprised you didn't hit me over the head with a pot." House admitted, watching a pure white cat slink in the window as she poured food into a bowl that he hadn't noticed.

"Please if I'd hit every stranger I'd found in Chase's apartment over the years, over the head-well… I dare say there would have been couple of prison sentences by now." She breezed and House was again wondering if she knew.

"Chase is missing, you do know that right." He said slowly.

"Yes, I came by to feed the cat." She frowned, the pursed smile not coming anywhere near reaching her eyes.

"And I assume you're here to snoop." She intoned, brushing fingertips through curling strands.

"I'd just finished actually." House shifted, just slightly.

"Right." She seemed at odds, like some impromptu host who had things to be getting along with but didn't want to be rude. She moved out of the doorway, as House shuffled across the kitchen.

"Just out of curiosity though, any idea's on what's in the locked room?" House asked bluntly. An eyebrow arched.

"There's a locked room?" She said blandly and House shrugged.

"Apparently." He said and headed for the door.

Adelaide heard it snap shut behind him and took off through the kitchen, up the hall, heels clicking. She paused before the dark wood, running fingers over the surface before pulling away sharply. Stepping into Chase's bedroom and retrieving a key from behind a red teddy's loose eye. Where it always had been.

She hurried back out and jammed it into the silver lock, twisting and dreading the snap she heard as it popped open. She pushed the door inwards, handle gritty and cool beneath her fingertips.

A crib rested in the corner and there were paintings on the wall, dragons and horses and god she hadn't realised that it had gotten this bad.

"What is this?" She stiffens slightly, but to her credit gives no more, since really she should have known.

"Its nothing." She breathes and pulls the door back closed, but it means nothing, because House has already seen enough. She pushes past him.

"Seems strange to have nothing locked up." House digs and she sighs, stops.

"Weren't you leaving." She scowled.

"Chase and your daughter were married, do they have a child?" House asks, because the world is tilting on its axis and he's going to fall over if he can't grab hold of something. She sighed and tears fell…

Chapter Twelve

Silence Unending 

_We love because it's the only true adventure._

_Nikki Giovanni_

**  
7…**

**Monday, 16th October**

The normalcy was terrible, she signed forms and saw patient's and scolded interns for their general acts of idiocy. Filled scripts, consulted, even ran blood work. All while the walls closed in on her and her hands shook. She choked every time she swallowed… Because she'd screwed up… The first rule of leadership, everything was her fault.

Mostly she watched the clock, watched seconds tick over, thought about the file she'd read, thought about how Chase was being… right now… as she sat and watched time trickle away. Picked at lunch and… Seconds just dripped by…

* * *

House stayed locked in his office, growling at anyone who even dared to happen by. Most only made the mistake once. Cuddy was shockingly absent considering his clinic duty was still to be done. 

The conversation with Adelaide Able played and replayed in his head. Fragmented and disjoined, random sentences that skipped and scratched about.

"_**Yes they had a child."**_

_"**Michael… He died, along with my daughter when she planted the car into a tree."**_

"_**He was six months old and she was… an alcoholic… Chase never forgave himself."**_

She'd wiped tears, had steadied a shaking voice and all House had done was stare. Because he hadn't had a fucking clue. Not the slightest. Couldn't have guessed if he'd tried. Now Chase was gone and indeed it was his fault.

"How can you just sit there!" Cameron demanded and House didn't even turn from the window to look at her.

"How dare you just sit there!" She shrilled and House still said nothing.

"Everyone else is going nuts, just going completely crazy… and you can't even…" Cameron could barely speak, she was choking on anger, which bubbled hot and acidic at the back of her throat…

_"**They met in Europe one summer…"**_

She was exhausted… worn out from worry. Foreman looked half-dead, Cuddy, she looked all dead and James… James looked empty, eaten away, used up. House though, he just looked like himself and how could he… How dare he…

"This is your mess House and we're left picking up the tab." Cameron shrieked and how it must have looked from the outside!

_"**Married young…"**_

"Its your fault House… You pull us apart like blocks…" Cameron pleads.

_"**Lily was the reason Chase left Seminary school."**_

"_**It was the happiest I'd ever seen her…"**_

"_**Friends said the same thing about Chase."**_

"House when I took this job, I thought it would be the chance of a life time. I thought you'd push and my medical skills would flourish because of it…" Cameron was simmering down… getting to the real root of things.

"_**I like to think she was even getting better, slowly, bit by bit…"**_

"_**Then she died…"**_

"_**If she hadn't been… drinking… and the road hadn't been slippery…"**_

"Well you pushed and the only thing it showed me was that I don't have any medical skills. I have no knack for this profession…" Cameron has to get this out now, 'cos she'll never say it later.

"_**She was 21 and he was six months…"**_

"_**And Chase just fell apart…"**_

"_**We all did…"**_

"No love for this profession… I want out of my contract and if you refuse I unlike Chase I will go to Cuddy… Because I can't do it anymore…" House barely listens as everything comes unravelling around his ears.

"I've burnt-out… and I won't let myself be like Chase… I can't…" Still he's quiet, still he's facing the window.

"Do you care at all House…? Do you feel anything…? You don't like any of us, I know, but do you really hate him enough not to care at all?" Cameron implores, because she liked the other once, has to believe that there was indeed something to love.

"Do you honestly hate him that much House?"

He turns slightly, looks at her over his shoulder. Eyes catching hers for just a fluttering little moment and she gets it. Understands just the sad truth of it. Catches all the soft fleshiness of the situation.

"No, you didn't hate him at all…" She breathes and House turns back to the fading day, tired eyes glancing over a tattered world.

**Chapter Thirteen**

Phone Sex… Or Something Close 

_We had a lot in common._

_I loved him and he loved him._

_Shelley Winters_

Hands… Unwanted hands, everywhere, all over touching, taking, tasting…

Cuddy sat up sharply, scrubbing her eyes, trying desperately to clear away images that she cold have gone her whole life without. She bit back a sob and held down the vomit that was rising to the back of her throat. Giving in to it after a moment and hauling herself out of bed to the toilet. Hanging her head until there was nothing left, heaving turned to dry reaching.

She went back to bed without brushing her teeth because the hot biting taste was preferable to the fresh crisp taste of mint. Mint was clean and she didn't feel clean at the moment. Cuddy bit back more tears, held down another sob and reached for the phone.

The other end was already ringing before she'd even considered the number she'd dialled. Had already been picked up before she could hang up.

"Hello?" The voice was low and husked form sleep.

"James?" Despite her best efforts tears were collecting… and falling.

"Lisa?… It's two am." He groaned.

"I'm sorry I just couldn't think of anyone else to call." She breathed and James could hear the tears in her tone.

"I wasn't really sleeping anyway."

"I hope I haven't pissed Julie off." Cuddy breathed slowly, sitting curled in the middle of her bed. The double bed seeming too big, it looked like miles to the edges in the dark. The apartment sat in silence and Cuddy could feel the terrible crush of loneliness creeping into her stomach.

"Julie's gone." James admitted blandly, still perched precariously on his side of the bed, because it feels odd to sleep in the middle. Feels odd not to have a body beside his.

"She said I was never here and even when I was I wasn't… and she's probably right." He sighs. There's long slow pauses punctuating their conversation. Minutes tickling by at a time.

"I'm sorry." Because there's nothing else to say. James shrugs even though she can't see it, is still lying down on his side in bed.

"Didn't hurt as much as I thought it would."

"Doesn't ever seem to does it?" Cuddy questions and settles back down into bed slowly piling blankets up over her shaking body.

"Lisa why did you call?" He asks.

"I don't know… I just… Don't know what I'm doing anymore." She admits painfully.

"Lisa I mean no flattery when I say that you do know what you're doing. I've seen you work and I've never seen anyone better." He mumbled and despite tattered nerves Cuddy felt sleep falling in once more.

"Speaking of clueless though lets look at my serious lack of relationship skills." He scoffed slightly, dully.

"James I mean no flattery when I say that you're a great guy, you'll find someone and get it right." Cuddy offers.

"Please I spent years of my life unwittingly in love with Gregory House." He snorted.

"Haven't we all." She said quietly.

"I hope you get it right James." Long pauses, always long pauses, then…

"It's almost three."

"I know." She clutched more desperately at the receiver not wanting to let him go.

"I have to be up in two more hours." He groaned.

"Me too." She confessed.

"We should go." Neither wanted to.

"Yeah." Which bred another long silence into being.

"So hang up." He said, listening to quite breathing.

"You." Silence once more. Quite breathing evening out into sleep.

"You first…" 

Chapter Fourteen

Misled 

_The greatest of faults, I should say, is to conscious of none._

_Carlyle, Heroes and Hero-Worship_

**  
6…**

**Tuesday, 17th October**

"We're just running out of time again." Will groaned head resting against the board.

"We're not out yet…" Starling reminded painfully.

"No but we will be… Just like the others… Chase is already being raped…" Will pointed out.

"And we can't do anything about it… but work at this…" She pointed back. Will kicked the board over, the bulk hitting the fall with a crash, pictures fluttering.

"That was productive." Starling breathed into the petulant air.

"Its somebody at that hospital… it has to be… The industrial cleaners that he uses on the bodies, the incisions… I know… I know, it is somebody from that hospital…" Will frowned, pacing back and forth.

"Who then?" She sat back in a chair.

"House." He blurted.

"House is an arsehole, but he's not our killer." She sighed gutturally.

"What about that neurologist… Peterson." Will frowned.

"At home with his wife and four kids." She winced.

"It's eight in the morning," He sighed falling down beside her against the wall.

"I officially having spelt in three days." Worst of all was that it had all been for nothing… It was always for nothing… A knock at the door interrupted.

"Detective's there's a Doctor Jason Messner here to see you."

"Oh, yeah I had to ask him some more questions." Starling winced.

* * *

"Doctor Messner, if the circumstances were different I'd say it's lovely to have you back." Starling flattered. 

"But they aren't." He said ruefully. He was a short dark-haired man in his late thirties; wire-framed glasses perched on his nose.

"Its actually kind of rattling having a fellow doctor snatched from the Car Park like that. Makes your skin creep." He smiled. Starling shifted slightly.

"No," She frowned.

"I don't know where you heard that Doctor Messner but its not… we're pretty sure Doctor Chase was walking home when he was taken…" She pursed.

"Oh, well I just assumed… since you found the lily there that…" Suddenly there's that tight uncomfortable feeling creeping up her spine…

"I'm sorry… Lily?" She frowned.

"Yes… it was left on the hood of Chase's car."

"Yes I know… I'm just shocked that you know considering you told me you rarely went down to the parking garage and I know no newspapers printed it." She said carefully.

"No… I heard two paediatricians talking about it at lunch."

"Of course." Silence settled for a moment.

Chapter Fifteen

Sleep On It 

_Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation._

_Kahlil Gibran_

There was just nothing else for it… They were wrecked… This was punctuated by the fact that they were just sitting there…

"So if there's blood in her vomit its…" Well House was scribbling madly at the white-board… The fact that there were no patients not stopping him from still shirking clinic duty. It was a hypothetical case. Foreman not even bothering to mention how stupid it was. It seemed too apparent.

"You know if you two have somewhere better to be…" House suddenly snarled. His mood was well passed rancid.

"It just feels weird doing this with…" Cameron didn't even both to finish. House hit the board and turned to glare.

"So what? The little blonde waif goes missing and the world suddenly stops spinning…" He snapped.

"House…" Cameron… had nothing.

"No only you two do because you two are the only two who can't seem to grasp how useless he really is…"

"Shut up… just shut up House…" This came from Foreman.

"Oh, panties in a bunch again." House dug.

"What the fuck would you know about it!" Foreman had more than had it. He had run out of rope…

"You're a lousy doctor and a fucked-up person." He spat.

"Oh, going a little ghetto are we Eric!" Foreman stood up slowly grinding his teeth. There were just no more nerves to fray.

"House I swear to god if you make one more black comment I'm just…" Eric bit trying to rub away the pain behind his eyes…

"What like asking you if you can blush?" Foreman shoved him, just barely and Cameron got between them.

"Hey, hey stop. Stop it. Look you two need to just…"

"God Cameron your always selling yourself off bit by bit… why not just give it up and become a hooker." House sneered and Allison looked like she'd been kicked in the gut.

"What did you just call her…" Eric demanded and Cameron got shoved aside… Let herself get pushed out of the way. House was leaned very calmly against the wall… or at least that was how it looked. The fact that Foreman was about to kill him didn't seem to be a major spanner in the works.

"Cameron was just upset because I called you a nigger." House smirked, punctuating the insult by tapping the top of Eric's head with his cane. Its no shock that Eric punches him, full weight of his body behind his arm… House hits the wall and drops to the floor.

"Wow…" He breathes, feeling his head pound and not much else beyond that…

Foreman looked shocked… Looked dazed like he couldn't fathom what he'd just done… He raked hands through barely there hair.

"I'm done. House I quit… I just…" He shrugged backing from the room.

Cameron stood in awkward silence, listening to the door swing shut behind the retreating doctor…

"I hope you got what you wanted House." She half-sobbed.

"Oh yeah I often want to be punched in the face…" House grumbled, wiping a bloody lip.

"How else did you expect that to end?"

* * *

Cameron bent over the bathroom sink and splashed cool water up over her face, rubbing her eyes slightly… Trying to hold back tears. She sobbed dryly, sniffing… 

"Oh, dear are you okay…"

"I'm fine thanks." Cameron sighed turned to a middle-aged woman with dark hair framing a slender face…

"Well not that it's my place dear but you look under the weather." She said curtly, stepping up beside Allison.

"You don't look too together yourself." She sniffed.

"It happens when you have to deal with an entire police department…" She groaned in frustration.

"Oh you're…"

"No… a… friend of mines gone missing." She smiled wearily.

"A- friend… do you know Chase?" She frowned.

"He was my son-in-law…" She breathed.

"Sorry…" Allison said licking dry lips.

"I'm Allison Cameron… I work with Chase… usually…" She mumbled, extending a hand and it seemed so silly to do so.

"Adelaide Able." She didn't take the hand rather ran hers through slightly rumpled hair.

"Look I know this must sound a little odd and your probably very busy, but would you like to go out for coffee… I just really need to talk and I know I just met you but…" Her eyes were red-rimmed.

"No… I'd love to." Cameron nodded.

* * *

Foreman went about clearing out his locker… He didn't know why, considering he still had to resign formally. To Cuddy, because if he actually tried that with House he was pretty sure that, like Chase he would have the thing thrown at him. Then again… maybe House would want him gone… Foreman stubbornly refused to care, as he shoved more things into a gym bag. 

"Eric…" The bag slipped through his fingers slightly as he started.

"Cameron?" She was standing the doorway to the men's showers, her face flushed and her eyes wide. She was hopping almost like a five-year-old on her heels.

"I need your help." She gasped, flicking her hands in panic.

Chapter Sixteen

Falling Down

_Against stupidity the very gods_

_Themselves contend in vain._

_Schiller, The Maid Of Orleans_

"Why, why would you do this?" Foreman panted as they hurried threw the garage.

"I don't know…" Cameron breathed, blood deafening behind her ears.

"I just met her in the bathroom like two hours ago… She's Chase's mother-in-law… and we went out for coffee and we talked and she's so understanding and nice…" Allison half-sobbed.

"So you hit her…" Foreman frowned.

"NO!… Well yes… but, She was nice, but… we got back in her car… and we drove back here and… there was this beeping and I found Chase's pager wedged beside the seat… it was… low battery…" Cameron bit her lip trying to straighten out her head.

"Jesus Cameron, Chase could have left that in there weeks ago…" Foreman said shaking his head.

"No! He had it before he left the hospital when… She did something to him Foreman… I just know it… I do…" Cameron sighed long since passed trying to explain herself.

"I hope the cops see it that way…" Foreman grumbled. Opening the black car door and leaning in to inspect the slumped figure in the driver's side. He leaned back out a moment later brandishing keys…

"She's probably okay… you really clocked her good though." Cameron can't help the inappropriate snort that escapes her lips.

"Metal coffee flask… I just swung it and… I didn't even think." She mumbled disjointedly.

"Yeah you should probably stick to that whole not thinking thing." Foreman offered moving around to the back of the car.

"What are you doing…"

"Snooping, and after whacking the woman up side the head… I don't think you have a leg to stand on in the 'this is wrong department'." Foreman informed popping the trunk.

"I hit one person and lose all credibility." Cameron half-joked, because she was just way too tired.

"Hey Cameron, ya know that bad feeling…" Foreman frowned from buried in the boot.

"Chase's ID and a muddy shovel…" He said holding up the white tag.

"Now why would she ever drive around with that in there!" Cameron said moving behind the car with Eric.

"I have no idea… anyone else would ditch it…" He breathed, raising a brow at Cameron's odd look.

"You know way too much about this!" She sighed, pulling at messy hair.

"Don't start." He hissed between his teeth.

"So what… I mean do we…" Cameron remembered the numerous detectives' numbers she'd gotten given in the last few days. How would she ever explain this…

"Go get a wheelchair and a first-aid kit…" Foreman, said finally.

"Why?" Cameron wasn't getting it.

"Cos I need to know what happened to Chase…"

"Eric this probably isn't the best…"

"You're the one who hit her, so just go get the stuff…"

* * *

"What are you two doing?" House asked insidiously from the now open door. Both Foreman and Cameron jumped, nervousness making their hearts race. 

"Nothing." Cameron said shiftily brushing stray hair behind her ear.

"All right, but if Cuddy catches the two of you tying up patients she's gonna pitch a fit." House sighed, catching sight of a wrist cuffed to the side rail of a hospital bed.

"Who is that anyway…" House frowned, leaning forward and peering between the two.

"What are you doing with Chase's mother-in-law?" He sniffed.

"Nothing." Cameron said once more.

"Well we…" She started at House sceptical look.

"She had Chase's ID and pager… We thought she might know where he is…" Foreman explained lamely… It seemed so stupid now.

"So what… You hit her over the head and were… planning on torturing her when she woke up." House smirked, stepping further into the room and closing the door behind him.

"Of course not!" Foreman scowled.

"It was Cameron who hit her…" He breathed.

"By accident… well sort of…" She winced.

"Need I remind the two of you that although this is the most initiative you've ever shown anything. Assault's still frowned upon in society and the police already have a nice serial killer pegged as having taken Chase…" House frowned.

"Well their wrong!" Cameron pushed. They all jumped as Cuddy burst in the door.

"Have any of you met Chase's mother-in-law she's… What are you doing?" She frowned looking from the three of them to the woman cuffed to the bed.

"Cuddy meet Chase's mother-in-law, Adelaide…" House smiled.

"What is she doing cuffed to a bed…" Lisa demanded, hands on hips.

"Well Cameron seems to think that she's the one who nicked Chase… So she and Foreman were considering torture." House smirked.

"She is the one who nicked Chase and… No torture in the hospital, its bad for business." Cuddy breathed.

"What?" House scowled.

"Torture its not…"

"The other part…"

"Oh, ummm I got a call from Agent Starling… Jason Messner…"

"The paediatrician…"

"Yeah, he confessed… to all of it… except for Chase… claims that Chase got into the car with her." Cuddy said licking dried lips.

"Well that explains it." Foreman choked.

"What?" Cuddy asked sucking her bottom lip.

"We found Chase's pager and ID in her car…" Cameron informed.

"And a muddy shovel…" Foreman added.

Cuddy's mouth hung open for a moment and she wobbled slightly on her feet.

"Who drives around with that!" She gasped, bracing a hand against the wall, trying to steady herself.

"Move!" She ordered moving to push Foreman out of the way, leaning against the rail of the bed. She shook the prone figure awake.

"What the hell…" The brunette muttered.

"Where is Chase…" Cuddy demanded, because god-damn-it there was so much she should have done and didn't…

"Who…" The voice is slurred and thick, a hand pulling at the cuff, trying to work out what's going on as the fog of sleep clears.

"Chase, blonde, funny, one of my staff… What did you do with him…" She demands, clutching the others chin.

"Nothing." The slap echoes around the room.

"Cuddy!" Cameron gasps, frozen in shock.

"Don't lie to me… What did you do!" A pair of rough blows and Foreman starts froward and pulls her back across the room.

"Cuddy you can't…"

"I buried him… I hit him… and I just… buried him…" Comes the soft reply from bloody lips.

"Oh god…"

Chapter Seventeen

Misery

_There is no worse death-then that of hope… _

They had gotten no more from her, the redheaded detective barging into the room at the most inopportune time. Mainly before House could get to the torture…

Chase… She'd taken Chase and he'd… House sighed as he scraped stray bits of grit from beneath his fingernail with his thumb. He refused to be depressed because what that meant was too complicated right at the moment. Rather he liked to look at it as morbidly thoughtful. He sat perched in a rocking chair, beside a crib, feet outstretched, picture book resting in his lap.

The room was done in ridiculous shades of blue, with bunny's and teddy's stencilled on the walls and little puffy pillows… Chase had moved and had still felt the compulsion to bring all this with him. To put all this pain right within reach… A splinter in his heart… Why… Punishment… that was the obvious answer… His wife and son… His life… It was the reason he worked himself into exhaustion… Took House's abuse, had no friends and no social life to speak of… Was basically a non-person. He was punishing himself and House can't believe he never saw this before in the downcast eyes and slumped shoulders. The way Chase seemed to swing drastically between bitterly selfish and being well… Cameron… Worse than… Soft and brittle and melty…

All these new sides were hurting his head because try as he might House can't seem to fit Chase back into that rich-boy mould… Or Wilson into that reliable-puppet one. Nobody fits anything anymore. Cuddy is no longer the ridged boss and Cameron, doesn't look at him like she use to. Nothing's what it was and House isn't so sure he likes the change. His jaw sure as hell doesn't, realistically the punch from Foreman's been a long time coming. House just never imagined it would be over Cameron… and it was. As blind as those two were, House could see what was going on…

House swallowed, toying with the book as he considered whether to down a few more pills. The Edge… That was the title written above an odd splattering of colours. House finds the paintbrush strokes soothing beneath his fingers. Finds the name delicately printed in the corner incredibly sad. Robert Chase… House isn't an idiot. The Wild. What Chase had read to Jessica, House had nicked the book after Chase had been taken, had been through it so many times. Written by Virginia Chase, illustrated by Virginia Chase and dedicated to 'my darling son Bobby'. Chase's mother had been a writer. Had published dozens of books… and had written one for her son. This being punctuated by the fact that it was only children's story she had ever had to her name. Chase had done the same… Only this one was just the original handmade copy. Dedicated to Michael and locked up, sitting in the middle of a crib, now long empty.

House didn't… couldn't understand it… Chase was this huge puzzle and that made too much sense since House loved a puzzle and was frustrated beyond belief when he couldn't solve it right away. Chase was one of those little cubes with all the coloured sides and no matter how House twisted they just never matched up… Refused to fit… and they never would… Chase was gone and House… was just left with all these little bits that didn't make sense.

Chapter Eighteen

Last Breath 

_Reason has little to do with anything we do._

**  
5…**

**Wednesday, 18th October**

House fully expects the breakroom to be empty he next morning. Fully expects Foreman and Cameron to have cleared out. Instead they're both leaned over the table, maps and bits spread out before them.

"So its just along this ridge here." Cameron frowns marking in a section in red…

"That's still like 15 square miles Cam…" Foreman frowns rubbing the bridge of his nose.

"It's better than what we had." She sighed, resting hands on hips.

"And no offence but that red clay thing was pretty flimsy to start with." Foreman informed.

"I told you my cousin owns a nursery, the only place even close to here where you finds red clay is along this ridge." Cameron pointed.

"What are you two doing…" House winces.

"Looking for Chase…" Cameron puffed.

"Funny you don't have a badge." House dug.

"The police are currently dredging a river because she told them that's where she dumped the body."

"So."

"She told us she buried him." Cameron snapped.

"She lied big surprise." House smirked woefully.

"Yeah to them." Cameron said pinching her tongue between front teeth.

"So you two decided not to leave it to the professionals and go looking frantically for a death body." House scoffed.

"Yeah! And although you don't have to help, stop hindering and get the hell out…" House raised a brow as Cameron scribbled down a note and they both ignored him once more.

"It's not that big we could search it." Cameron pressed.

"Yeah, I suppose if we leave now we could have most of it done before dark." Foreman said sucking his lip.

"Still though why there…"

"It's a secluded area… no camping grounds, hiking trails…" She breathed.

"There are easier areas too." Foreman frowned.

"Well its either this or sit here and do nothing…"

"And we all know House has got that covered." Foreman dug.

* * *

"Well this is useless!" Foreman splattered, pushing threw undergrowth. 

"It's not that bad…" Cameron said, the slow trickle of rain soaking through her shirt and spilling into her shoe's. Her jacket was already dripping, yet she hugged it closer to her chest.

"No I'm not talking about the fact that it's pouring and fucking freezing… It's that we haven't got a hope in hell of finding anything in the dark. Disturbed looking dirt isn't exactly that noticeable…" Foreman sniffled.

"I know… maybe we should just… Call it a day…" They been trudging around thinned bushland for the better part of six hours, the last three of which it had been raining, turning the ground to sludge. Now for the last half an hour they'd been stumbling blindly in the dark, the torches they were using virtually no help at all. After all what help was a little circle of light that at best showed a tiny patch of ground, a bit of tree or a face in the dark. Cameron yelped and dropped the cylinder as a pale face flicker in the light.

"Get that thing off my face!" Foreman's torch going to rest right where Cameron's had just disappeared from.

"House! What the hell are you doing!" Cameron shrieked.

"Going blind." He winced, light still bright on his face. Cameron hit Foreman's hands as she groped for her own light.

"Why are you lurking in the dark?" Foreman snapped.

"I wasn't, you two idiot's didn't exactly make it a secret of where you were going and the roads just down that hill…" House said, gesturing to the sharp drop off on the left.

"I could hear you from my car. I've been parked behind yours for about an hour." House spat.

"So what the hell are you doing out here?" Foreman said, still fighting the overwhelming urge to shine his light back in House's eyes.

"I came out to make sure you two hadn't fallen into a well." House snapped.

"House this is not the time. I can kill you and hide the body quite easily out here…" Foreman snapped. He was tired and wet and had a million cuts and scrapes up and down his arms and legs… He really wasn't in the mood. Plus the small alleviation of guilt that had come with being able to at least find Chase's body had been stamped on… A cold lump settling back into his throat.

"Nagh the cops would work it out. The black guy always gets pinned with it…" House smirked.

"Would you cut that black shit out." Foreman flared, striding forward, light once again poised on his eyes.

"Oh, stay out of my face with that!" House scoffed and shoved the other back. Usually House won't have been able to move him, but the ground was slick and uneven, Foreman stumbling back as he tilted off-balance. His back hit a tree as his foot hit something vaguely solid, something that collapsed with a quick snap.

The flashlight hit the ground as Foreman gave a startled yelp and went down on his knees.

"Jesus." Cameron dropped the shovel and surged forward, House hanging back with vague concern.

"Are you okay?" She gasped, kneeling down in the mud and wet.

"I don't know… What the fuck is this." Eric gasped, gritting his teeth as icy jolts of pain ran up his leg.

"I don't know." Cameron said, light glancing over thin slats of wood cutting through the dirt. One of was gorging a bloody hole in Foreman's ankle, pants rigged up over bare skin.

"Lean back against the tree." Cameron instructed, pulling his foot free and wrenching a hiss from dark lips. She felt gently along the joint, carefully to avoid the wound itself.

"House does this look broken to you." Cameron asked as he moved to linger over her shoulder. God only knew how he kept his balance…

"Hmmm…" Cameron huffed at House lack of actual response.

"Well what do you see?" She said in frustration.

"Blonde hair…" House said running tongue over teeth… Cameron looked down, hers and Foreman's cast aside flash lights catching in the gap, muddy blonde hair sat at bottom on more dirty board. Cameron pulled her knees back and ripped up more rotten board, the fragile snaps and pops like bones breaking.

"Chase…" Foreman clutched more desperately at the tree, trying vainly to stave off the sinking feeling in his stomach. Cameron sobbed, a hot dry sound, though with the falling rain, it was impossible to tell whether she was actually crying or not. She brushed dirty hunks of hair from a gritty face, the skin obscenely pale looking, lips blue and cracked.

House moved back, lingering desperately at the edge of the torchlight… he pulled at his shirt collar, the material stretching easily in his fingertips. It didn't matter though, there was no air left in the world to breathe, everything felt so incredibly hot and the rain had all but disappeared suddenly, leaving an awful silence behind.

Cameron bit her lip as tears built behind her eyes… crying didn't ever fucking help anything… Why was it the only thing she could do. Cameron squeezed her eyes shut and pushed the palm of her hand onto the splintered wood end. Hissing as they pricked and cut, blood pooling slowly. She pulled the appendage back slowly, a small drop of blood slipping and hitting Chase's cheek. Cameron gaped when his eyelashes fluttered, just slightly. She leaned forward, watching the still dead-looking face… She's going off the deep end… Utterly and completely…

"Cam?" She looked… Foreman didn't have the words for how she looked.

"I thought…" Particles swirled and danced in the yellow beams, kicked up by… Cameron reached in and pressed trembling half-numb fingers to a cold throat. A flutter… Or was that just the tingle always present in her hands…

"House I think…" Cameron pulled at Chase's shirt placing a hand against his chest, pushing down hard.

"What are you doing." House snapped as he watched Cameron completely lose it.

"I can feel…"

Chapter Nineteen

Unravelled 

_They came after the Jews- and I was not a Jew, so I did not object._

_They came after the Catholics- and I was not a Catholic, so I did not object._

_Then they came after the Trade Unionists-and I was not a Trade Unionist so I did not object._

_Finally they came after me…_

_And there was no one left to object._

**  
4…**

**Thursday, 19th October**

"No you may certainly not interview him…" Cuddy snapped into the phone hands on hips.

"Maybe in a week or two when he's in a more stable condition…" She growled, James couldn't help but lean in the door and smirk.

"Well you get a court order then!" She flared and then slammed the piece of black plastic black into the cradle.

"Trying to tell me how to run my hospital, ridiculous gits… and if it isn't someone in uniform it's someone with a damn camera… I've had to have three removed already and its not even lunch yet." She cried and James's smirk widened.

"Police or reporters?" He said coyly.

"Reporters… Though did you see all the uniforms standing around last night when Chase was brought in… not doing anything!" She brushed stray hair behind her ear.

"Idiots!" She puffed. She looked good for someone who'd been in the same clothes for over twenty-four hours. She also hadn't slept in two and she hadn't slept well for over a week.

"You know Chase isn't that worse for wear considering… he should be up pretty soon." Wilson offered venturing further into the office. Actually Chase was extremely lucky, he'd completely missed a run-in with his very psychotic stalker and had survived being buried alive for over a day. Well partially buried thanks to the fact that Chase's mother-in-law, who clearly had something loose upstairs. She'd buried him a few hours before going out for coffee with Cameron, just barely covering the coffin with dirt… the heavy rain completely uncovering one end… It was still all a little shady and sketchy, Chase still out of it and Adelaide just flat-out refusing to talk…

"Well they can still wait two or three weeks…" Cuddy scoffed. Winning another grin. It was so easy to smile now, now that there was air to breathe… a huge weight lifted from everyone's chest. Chase had escaped with minor injuries. Well almost. Severe dehydration, a rather nasty blow to the back of his head and a shit load of cuts and bruises. Considering the circumstances though they should probably all be counting their blessings. Even with the over-abundance of cops and tabloid writers.

**Chapter Twenty**

Drawing To A Close 

_A feeling of sadness and longing,_

_That is not akin to pain,_

_And resembles sorrow only_

_As Mist resembles rain._

_H.W. Longfellow_

**  
3…**

**2…**

**Saturday, 21st October**

God protects idiot's and small children. Chase had at least one of the above in spades. House leaned forward and took the other's hands in his own and then let go and leaned back… all in a split second. He didn't have the right. Allison was quite shockingly accurate, everyone else had footed the bill for his mistakes… as always.

"Detective you just don't understand…" House looked back up the TV screen.

"I could never hurt Chase…" Watches the recently purchased interview of Chase's rather unconventional admirer. A doctor that he'd worked with in the same hospital for… almost 10 years…

"You murdered 12 other people, I think you can understand why we are having trouble believing that!" The interviewer offered a tall guy whose blonde hair fell into his eyes.

"And they all look a lot like Doctor Chase…"

"But they're not… they're cheap little whore's…" Messner sighed, trying desperately to make the other understand.

"Robert… is perfect…and they were just jokes… and I just couldn't let them… do that to him…"

"Do what?" House flicked the TV off and ejected the tape, unsure of why he would ever have wanted it in the first place.

The clock ticked close to eleven and House watched the seconds slip away. his leg ached, itching the skin off his back… But House didn't have the desire to take another pill. It would've been his third for the day… half of what he normally took, most days…

House puffed out a hot breath and pulled himself up out of the rather irritating plastic hospital chair. He placed Chase's handmade book on the bedside table. The Edge… So appropriate. He hadn't read it… House had sat just moments before had pulled open the front cover, eyes glancing over the inscription… _Michael_… House had snapped the book shut… He wouldn't. He wouldn't read it. He refused to be the sap sitting sulking in the dark… wallowing in past mistakes… Stacey, Cuddy, Wilson, Chase… So many painful jagged little bits.

House snatched the tape and moved out of the room, closing the door behind him, then after dropping a note and the black bit of plastic off on Cuddy's desk. He signed out and stepped out into the cold night air… feeling his head clear for the first time in weeks… Stacey, Cuddy, Wilson and Chase… So many droplets off water slipping through his fingers… and for once he let them. Opened his hands and just let it all go…

**Epilogue**

The Edge Of Reason 

_Love feels no burden, thinks nothing of trouble, attempts what is above its strength, pleads no excuse of impossibility; for it thinks all things lawful for itself, and all things possible_

_Thomas a Kempis_

**  
1…**

**Sunday, 22nd October**

Cameron decide to look in on Chase before she left… She felt a small streak of guilt at walking out on him… But squashed it. She wasn't neglecting anyone. House was right, she took everything took close to heart. Let every little thing cut too deep. Beside's he was fine… Cameron clutched his hand, marvelling at the warmth beneath her skin. It was so strange to see Chase before her, alive… When she'd spent so much time preparing for a body…

"Allison…" She smiled as Foreman brushed inside the door.

"Hey…"

"Hey… Leaving?" He questioned.

"Yeah." She breathed.

"You…?" Cameron pursed after a second.

"Well House is still an arsehole so…" Foreman cut himself off… Why was it that everything always boiled down to House… Why was the other always at the centre of everything. It was so damned frustrating. You let him be at the centre of everything. Because as much as you'll never admit it, him being there justifies you not taking responsibility. A voice lingering in the back of his head taunted.

"Actually I really need a change… new place, new people… House for once doesn't have much to do with it." Eric sighed. Finally getting right down to the truth. There's just so much baggage here weighing on his shoulders…

"So anxious to be rid of us." Cameron joked.

"Actually I was thinking about that." Foreman said seriously, because Chase's near-death experience has made him reconsider a lot of the things he's done… and hasn't…

"Actually I was wondering if you'd wanna come out for drinks sometime." Foreman breathed and it sounded incredibly lame.

"That'd be great I don't really have a lot of friends in town so…" The cowardly part of him wants to just let the assumption lie. For once the cowardly part doesn't win out.

"I don't wanna go out as friends Cameron… I mean, I don't really know you that well… because I really just didn't try. But these last couple of days, your just not what I thought you were… and I was hoping that…"

"Oh… Foreman I…"

"You can't go…" Cuddy interrupts as she comes bursting through the door.

"What?" It leaves both mouths.

"I can't loose my entire diagnostic department!" Cuddy snaps and Foreman stares, wondering, since it was Cuddy who signed the resignations.

"You still have House if that's a consolation." Cameron offers.

"No I don't!" Cuddy flumes, brandishing a single bit of card.

"Not missing, just gone.-House… What kind of a note is that!" Cameron frowned after taking the scrap, reading aloud the single sentence and then inspecting the back for more…

"Oh-fu-rigging I don't know!" Cuddy puffed looking at the note dismally.

"So what he's just gone… Just like that!" Foreman blinked.

"I've tried his pager, his mobile… I even went over to his house… he's gone and no one knows where to or when he'll be back." Cuddy fumed.

"What are you all arguing about…" They all jump at the rasping voice and look over to find Chase stirring properly for the first time.

"Chase… stay down…" Cameron ordered placing a palm in the middle of his chest. Chase stilled but started to rub his eyes furiously. Blinking in quick little flutters.

"What's over my eyes?" He muttered, continuing to rub.

"Nothing?" Cameron frowned, feeling a small trickle of dread. His hand gave one final swipe then slid to his cheek, Chase frowning, eyes parted slightly.

"I… can't see anything…" He rasped.

Foreman crowed to the other side of the bed and pulled a penlight from off the table. He lifted the blonde's eyelid, Chase flinching slightly at the contact.

"Stay cool man…" He offered, shining in the yellow circle of light and then licking dry lips when Chase's pupil stayed immobile, the iris around glassy and clouded.

* * *

**A/N: Okay as I said before this just really pissed me off for the longest time. I'm really sorry if it didn't live up to expectation. I know a lot has been only touched on very breifly, but there will be another part... The last. Where hopefully I'll be able to go more in-depth. Sorry to anyone who thought this was going to be something different. But it was never supposed to be about the killer or the cops or even Chase really, it was supposed to be about everyone else squaring off. I hope that at the very least you all aren't sad you took the time to read it. The nextpart will be very heavy on slash, so forewarned are you all. Sorry that its taken this long for all how've been wating for it. Sorry for any disappointments, reviews are always good and I hope everyone will at least come back for the next bit. I make no promises on when that will be up. Mainly because it took me two weeks to write In Tatters and four months + to write Ten Days Away... God it's hard when you haven't got something to copy off... Ooops sorry, bad joke, probably stepped over the line of comedy with that one. Alright peace, stay black.**


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